I can circle and circle - but the answer is always BALANCE!
As I wade through my whacked out views with respect to LTR's in my head... I read something on another thread that I need to find a way to believe...
Quote:
We get used to being on our own, doing everything for ourselves, and protecting others from our problems. It's hard to change that over when we love someone and want to be with them. Remember that sharing ourselves means the good AND the bad. If we keep our problems from them, or take the stance that it isn't their concern because we don't want them burdened, we are far more likely to hurt them and make them feel mistrusted. They signed on to be WITH us, not just near us.
I guess I need to stop making assumptions of what a future P may think and perhaps give men a chance to speak - and trust that they actually know what they are talking about...
A man (and his GF) that I met at The Resort challenged me point blank saying that I wouldn't go out with him if he asked me out b/c my standards were so out of whack. Of course I conveniently pointed out to him - he was in violation of R rule #345,324 - he had a GF so the point was mute. They were frustrated with me - his GF jumped in and said "he was single 4 1/2 years ago - you wouldn't have gone out with him then either." Very confusing hypothetical discussion being challenged by a couple!
He is right - I probably would have turned him down if he was single... He is successful and financially probably does better than I do and is +/- 3 years. He was 6 feet tall and very cute - and well he is training to qualify for the Ironman in Hawaii - so really an unbelievable body when it comes to the physical... Interesting, smart - and had no qualms about standing up to me and seeing through my BS... But I proabably would make up a new R rule...
He (and his GF) accused me of diminishing a man's ability to decide/think for himself by deciding on his behalf that an R with me would just not work out. He accused me of insulting male intelligence in general...
And I understand what lodo's xw did... I can see it so clearly. I don't want to do what she did...offload a P to streamline... I need to resolve this issue BEFORE I can allow myself to consider an LTR... It just is not fair to a potential P...
