Thank you so much for your encouragement and your very perceptive questions!!!
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1. Why arent you thrilled that he has been offered this opportunity with the soprano? Would this be a good time to compliment him and sing his praises? I'm wondering if he's looking to you to tell him that he can do anything and he needed your encouragement? Obviously you know best and can read him and you understand the big picture, but my first thought was that it was weird that you werent jumping up and down and affirming him????
When he told me the names of the people he'd been asked to work with, I actually screamed something like, "OH MY GODDDD!!!! WHAT????!!!" in this low grumbly excited voice I don't think I'd actually ever heard come out of me before... so there was some jumping up and down. He told me before I said anything that *he* wasn't sure if he could do it.
To explain a little bit... I have never heard him play viola since we met 6 years ago, and he doesn't even own one. His violin playing is totally amazing, but I think the viola playing has been on the back burner for a long time. I totally believe he has the *potential* to be an AMAZING violist, but trying to do it with no time to prepare, in a situation where the stakes are this high, I think would be unwise. And in the three weeks between now and the gig he is already really busy and doesn't actually have time to ramp up. It's sort of like if he was a marathon runner and he was asked to be a sprinter. I'm sure up to a certain level a marathon level could still be a good sprinter, but past a certain level it would be a really big risk.
I definitely affirmed him a lot during the conversation, including saying things like, "It's awesome that you've only been in NYC for 2 years and you're already getting calls like this" and at the end I said something like, "Even that you got this call is a huge accomplishment. Congratulations!!" I'd say the overall tone was me being encouraging about his violin playing amazingness and that more opportunities like this will come along where he could really, AS WE SAY ON THE BB, "rock their world."
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2. Obviously what you are doing is working. The latest plan was to step it up a bit more and make it more obvious that you are still interested in connecting romantically. After this conversation do you think its best to keep building the friendship? OR are you going to do over the phone flirting, and maybe throw the 'you rocked my world sexually' thing out there?!?!
I've been thinking... what HAVE I been doing? And I think I've just been continuing to show friendship, but without pushing for anything. I sort of feel like I should just "follow the energy" -- what happened yesterday felt very intimate, and I'm not sure it would have happened if I pushed for anything. I guess I'd like to get some more consistent communication going before I do any explicit flirting or throw out any zingy comments. Or if he gets a little flirty I will definitely mirror that.
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3. Can you think of another reason why you need him to call you after this next conversation you are going to have? Another question or dilema that he would need to check back on in a weeks time? Another opportunity for him to rescue you, and you to be admiring him??
I was just thinking about that! I'd really like to get his advice about the next move I'd make in my 'career'... whether I'd go back to Boston, or move to NYC, or stay here even longer than I planned. But maybe not talk about it today, because I don't want to lay too many of my existential concerns on him at once. It is a little sensitive, because he might have vested interests in me either being physically closer to him or farther away , but he was always very good in the past about sharing his opinions without that getting in the way. I can definitely ask him his opinion of the different schools I'm thinking about.
One thing that intrigues me is that I first mentioned the New Cello Possibility two months ago. Suddenly, he "really wants to talk to me about it". Is that because he is just in a better, more receptive place? Has he been really busy and finally has a little window of time in his brain to think about what I"ve been saying? Or is it because I told him I was *confused*, and that's what spurred him into action?????
One more question... I am staying home from school today because I am sick. Should I still call, even though I am not feeling well??
