New Thread-Husband Moved in With OW(T2L)

[Trying2live]

Hope3343,
First off Happy Happy Happy Birthday! Ya know I feel very down today too, but it's your b-day so I'll rant later.

Don't worry about D15, she's a teenager should we say anymore?

No more comparing to last b-day.

Today you get to create a new memory ok. I want you to look back tomorrow and remember it as a good day or even great day. You have to treat yourself today. That is your present to yourself. Go get a pedicure or massage(gotta love em), call some friends, go have dinner, buy some chocolate, a new CD you've wanted or a new outfit. I'm not condoning becoming a spend a holic but it's your birthday.
I know it seems hard and I'm in the same boat got 19 yr anniversary in Dec. and b-day in Jan and I'm thinking I'm gonna plan my own party. I do not want to be alone so I'm going to make sure I'm not. Plan your party for you today. Promise you will treat yourself in someway.

I think it's a good idea to stay away from H today for several reasons.
1-if this is what he really wants then he needs to see what it will be like if he continues in this way. He won't be spending b-day's with you if he does so let him get a taste of it.
2-he does not have your best interest(at the moment) and you need to surround yourself with individuals who do. I don't even know If I would take calls from H. It's not in malice towards him but you need to protect yourself. Our spouses are not watching out for us right now, they are self absorbed and considering themselves so it's from that perspective.

Know that one day we all, either outcome, will be stronger for it-I have to believe this. Some days(like today)I do feel like crawling into bed and staying there. But then I see my children's faces and know how much they love me and me them. I close my eyes and hear their laughter and see every little freckle and know they are my reason to go on. I want them to look back and say "wow, my mom went through the worst thing imaginable, but she amazed me with the way she walked through it". Then I know I gave them tools to walk through adversity, and sometimes that's just keep going. Adversity comes to everyone is some way or another and I think we can say hey I have an opportunity here to grow and be strengthened.
Close your eyes, breathe, its a good day, your alive and loved. Go treat yourself and create your birthday memory today.
And all of us here have a connection and we think about each other and worry for each other, so know that you are thought about by all of us.
Chime in later and let us know how the day is going or i'll be wondering....Much Love, joy and peace to you on your b-day!