Just back from the bank meeting..... I could not tell her because D7 was there. Apparently her lice is back and she was sent home from school. Anyhow, W could tell by the look on my face that something was up. She asked me what was wrong on several occasions. I just replied that I needed a couple of hours. Which confused her even more. She did ask me if something happened and i could not resist....i said it's been happening for at least a year and I was tired of it. I think she can put two and two together and knows that the cat is out of the bag. It sure does suck and honestly i am very pissed right now. I actually have a job interview in an hour and I hope the gentleman is looking for someone who is aggressive. I can't believe that my W is throwing all this away for a doorman in a Mexican nightclub! I could have understood it and forgiven it for a fling but when I look at D7, the house, all our history together......I guess she is no different than all the other WASs. She will get waht she deserves....I am officially going dark on anything other than D7 and the house sale. No friend of mine lies to me in my face like she has done the past year (the past month more importantly) and stays my friend. Kerry, the Paris trip was a Mexican trip....I think she went over there 3 - 4 times in a year and he came over here twice. And you my friend, please let me know if and when you are in my neck of the woods.
John, I read your news this afternoon (my time) but I had to leave the office. I am sorry my friend. You knew all along that something was going on, it's what Lan has said once to me or on his thread "that gut feeling there is another person is 99 times correct even when there is no tangible proof". I was hoping it was a stray for your wife and she had figured out what you and your family are worth. Obviously she is still infatuated and made her choice based on whatever she feels right now. I think what you should do now is just protect yourself and deal with your anger and that feeling of being betrayed lied to etc. I know it is very hard. I still feel bad when I think of all the lies I believed having no clue what was going on. And even up to until now, I would appreciate it if he would just tell me what and when happened. Just for the record...
We are here if you need to vent. This sucks. We all know how it feels. Love K
Focus on your daughter and remember that a bitter divorce can stretch on for years with negative effects on everyone involved. My friend has been divorced for just over 2 years and he and his xW are still fighting with each other over over their D7.
Good luck with the interview. You will handle it all ok, I just know it. I remember interviewing in March in my hometown,H and I were already separated, the administrators knew me and were saying things like, "I bet you and your H are glad to be coming back home, I bet your H will be glad when you move up here so you can be together", etc. I just nodded and smiled b/c that isn't something you want to discuss in an interview...
Thinking of you. You deserve so much more, and as always, hug on D7.
This does suck big time. I really feel bad. My ex father in law made me promise not to say anything to my W and I will respect his wishes. Apparently my MIL called him twice to give him a truckload of $hit for spilling the beans. I guess W figured it out with my reaction today....i did not act as if. She and her mom are going to get what they deserve one day. Meanwhile, I don't think I will be getting too much sleep tonight.
Just hada brief chat with W. She dropped off D7 and was under the impression that I did not want to see her so she dropped off D7 with my mom. She told me that I am important to her and not just becasue i am the father of her child. I asked her what that means exactly....I am important to her and how can she act the way she does and did if a person is important to her? She said she was too emotional to talk about it and would call back later. I don't know what the hell i am fishing for. Maybe i just want her to admit that she has been lying to me for well over a year. Maybe i want her to admit that she has no moral fiber in her body....maybe i want her to admit that she has some serious problems. I put mysel in her shoes and never in a million years would i have acted this way. Amybe I would have strayed on vacation BUT to take that to the next level and fall in love with someone in another country and literally blow away ten years of your life?????? Maybe all this is for the best....BBJ is right I do deserve better....hell even W agrees.....why can"t i just get it through my hard head....MOVE ON!
Enough of that. I'm here for you buddy. Either in Idaho or Manhattan.
Here's my take: She is having a midlife crisis. It doesnt excuse her, but you have to realize this isn't the woman you fell in love with. The person is gone and may not come back. And the question you have to answer for yourself is even if she did come back can your forgive her and move on.
If I have learned one thing in the past year (almost) is that there is only one person I can control and make happy. That person is me. It took a lot of banging my head against a wall to figure it out, but I did. However, I learned that I can be happy. That happiness is a choice. It really is. It's hard and maybe sometimes impossible to believe it is a choice. But I will tell you it is. Trust me. Now, you need to choose to be happy. I'm not longer going to tell you to be positive. From now on it's BE HAPPY. Find a way. Find many ways. Do things for you.
John, the other thing you have to do is let her go. Let her go. Make that decision. Do it without anger. Feel free to pity her. Feel sorry for her. But don't hate her. Hate and anger will eat you up inside. It will make you something you don't want to be. It will suck away that happiness I told you to find.
Now, get off your ass and be the great father I know you are and get a life. You own life with happiness.
Great post Woog. Right now I am having a bit of problem with hatred and anger towards my soon too be ex gold digging back stabbing slut of a wife. Most of it is probably because I know that OM and her L are the ones driving the greed in what they want to get from me financially. After my golf lesson last night, I went to the batting cages and all the balls had names - my STBXW.
I will lose the anger after this is over, but I dont want to be friends ever again with her. I will be friendly on the phone, but it will only be in regards to the kids.
KerryK, I am so sorry that you stbX is behaving like that. I've watched a good friend of mine these last two years as he and his xW know peace only as the lulls between the fighting. It hasn't been about money, but, about alcohol and their daughter, but, I got to read the report that the family investigator put together and it was pretty obvious how their fighting has impacted their daughter. Be strong and knock the covers off those balls. I'd recommend sporting clays too. I've never done it, but, I know that the kick of the shotgun would be a healing balm when I'm really angry.
