but I'm wondering IF you could go back now, would you change having children? Even knowing the outcome?
Interesting question and difficult. I love my kids but they deserve a whole family.
My mom and dad did not get along all that well and I still remember one of my biggest fears growing up was that my parents would divorce. I was so afraid b/c I just knew that my world would end.
So I know my dovorce is affecting my kids. They don't talk about it but I remember how I felt just considering the possibility. I can only imagine how I would have felt given if it were reality.
And I can't wait until xW or I start a relationship with someone else. That must really suck for the kids despite seeing *happy* blended families on the sitcoms.
Biological clocks are strong. Stay as objective as you can not letting the clock cloud your assessment.
And before the birth control stops, have that talk with H. Remind him of what you discuss here. Remind him again of your fears and concerns. Discuss how he, and you will commit. Discuss how you will parent BEFORE the kids come.
And put all the cards on the table, as scary as that is. He needs to know what you know before the kids enter the picture.
If you two have kids then jointly make the commitment. Sure, anything can happen later anyway, but at least you will leave no stone unturned going in.
