I am very impressed by the way you handled this with grace and dignity.
I also find it a little unnerving that what you thought was a simple meeting turned into a surprise divorce proceeding. Wouldn't you think that your STBX would have known what this was?? It just seems odd to me.
I also find it your STBX's actions odd, during and after the hearing.
Hang in there brother. I see good things for a great man like you.
Time does help. It doesn't heal everything, but it helps us become numb.
I know it doesn't feel like it now - but there really will come a day where you will go beyond numb to feel alive again. There really will come a day when this R will fade into relative insignificance compared to the other events in your life.
Meanwhile for now - hang in there and be nice to yourself as you ride out this part of surviving the big D. Go away somewhere - or do what you need to do for you.
One more thing: you are a man's man. A true gentleman. After everything W has put you through, you consoled her today out of love and compassion. You are amazing. I am just sorry W cannot see that.
This is so true. I'm sorry that it came to this.........
I also find it your STBX's actions odd, during and after the hearing.
M from Tennessee,
I think the reaction is very typical of the self centered. She wanted to let it be known she was feeling some pain or emotion. Yet, she wanted lodo to still feel a connection to her by sharing and consolation. She WANTED this scene to be etched into his memory forever. It makes it much more difficult for the normal caring person to totally detach and walk away. She is essentially saying, "I am feeling all of these things. Yet, YOU can still walk away?" This is clearly more cake eating in this guy's eyes.......
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
What an interesting perspective. I never thought of that, but it makes perfect sense. Of course, her emotions are so huge! She feels so much! But yes, she feels nothing for him.
Oh man, I am torn up for you. Lodo, I am so very sorry. So sorry. Not much else I can say but that. One more thing: you are a man's man. A true gentleman. After everything W has put you through, you consoled her today out of love and compassion. You are amazing. I am just sorry W cannot see that.
{{{{Lodo}}}}} so sorry. I don't know what else to say.
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
Your compassion & control is amazing. I can only imagine the hurt & pain your were/are feeling.
From the dixie chicks: ---------- Forgive, sounds good Forget, I'm not sure I could They say time heals everything But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt There's nothing left for me to figure out I've paid a price And I'll keep paying ----------- Be gentle with yourself, you are worth it.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
I'm so sorry to hear of your ambush divorce. Way to go in making a divorce tougher than it already is. In a way you might look back and feel this was for the best. If it was going to happen anyway, at least you may have been spared some of the stress and anxiety that builds during the weeks preceeding our court dates. Just trying to look for the silver lining in all of this!
I also wonder what your wife's reaction was all about. It's just hard to understand how their brain works or whether they even know what it is they want.
Anyway, here's to a bright and joyfilled future. When the dust settles everything will seem much clearer!
I also find it your STBX's actions odd, during and after the hearing.
M from Tennessee,
I think the reaction is very typical of the self centered. She wanted to let it be known she was feeling some pain or emotion. Yet, she wanted lodo to still feel a connection to her by sharing and consolation. She WANTED this scene to be etched into his memory forever. It makes it much more difficult for the normal caring person to totally detach and walk away. She is essentially saying, "I am feeling all of these things. Yet, YOU can still walk away?" This is clearly more cake eating in this guy's eyes.......
