A good friend of mine (she had been in a long-term marriage with 3 kids). Had an affair maybe 5 years ago. Originally she mentioned something about this affair guy being her "soul mate," but she divorced her husband and this guy stayed with his wife and ended the affair. She recovered and still believed that leaving her husband was the best decision she had ever made. She figured she would meet someone else and enjoyed being single.
Originally her husband did spend a year or so DBing (he might even be on this site somewhere!!! How weird since I know him...). Anyhow, he eventually gave up, completed the divorce, and met some woman he now lives with (and who torments his children... but that's another story...).
The marriage is over, he has been with his girlfriend for at least three years. He HATES his ex-wife more than anything on earth.
During these last 4-5 years my friend has always maintained that she was never sorry she divorced her husband. But tonight I learned that she has mentioned to another mutual friend that she now regrets it. And in so many ways I see it. The "party girl" is gone. She woke up...
Unfortunately, for this her it is too late. These two will not be reconnecting again. The anger, hatred and animosity (on his side mostly) is waaaaay too thick. There is a huge amount of ugliness between them and their children are shattered.
In the meantime I'm still in shock. This is a woman who has been COMPLETELY CERTAIN for these last 5 years that leaving her husband was the best choice she had ever made. She is the last person I ever expected to have this regret.
Surprisingly, some people actually wake up.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
