Yikes, I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted. Sorry about that! Time flies when you're freaking out...
Quote:
I just want my freakin' heart to stop it!!
Don't think that's your heart, darling. It's your ego holding you back... telling you to honor the past by making you feel guilty about moving forward. (Notice I didn't say MOVING ON. I really and truly mean moving forward.)
Repeat after me (when you start that unproductive, self-induced Q&A): What could I be doing instead if I weren't engaged in this self sabotage?
If he starts caring again, friend, he'll let you know. Otherwise, you've got your game plan and your game on. Just ask Trace Adkins. He knows.
Well, Mr. Wonderful and I acknowledged our "Unniversary" on Monday. It would have been our 18th. I didn't forget it at all, but I was busy so each time I spoke with him, I didn't mention it. By the time I got home after work, D14 commented, "Mom, Dad was really weird today. I have no idea what that was about but he was really off." We got in the car to head to the grocery store and I picked up my cell phone and wished him a happy unniversary. He laughed and said, "Excuse me?" I explained that I now refer to it as that because we don't celebrate it anymore. For any of you who ask themselves this question, here's one answer. Mr. W. thanked me for remembering aloud. He said he could never forget and that it still makes him sad. He said he was a bit annoyed because he had assumed I had forgotten. Go figure?
Of course I'm no longer sad. I told him I was still glad we had one, because we had some really great years together and produced 2 terrific kids. AND we wound up friends again.
So here I am, divorced 3 years and my XH is annoyed because I don't outwardly comment on our wedding anniversary. What a hoot.
So just keep on keeping on and this will all work out some way and some how. I promise. It really does get better, Cagz.
Time to head off to bed. I'm beat.
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey