Husband's Missed Oppotunity #2

[NikB]

I feel like I'm getting more and more upset.

What can you do to turn this around? You KNOW you can do it, you've gotten much better at it.. do whatever it is you know works.

I know he'll take it out on me and I'll let it bring me down.

Well there you go... you've got the evening all planned. Since you "know" these things, I bet you'll be right.

How about "knowing" something different?

But, damn I take the bait EVERY time.

No, you don't. So think about how it works for you when you DON'T take the bait, and how much better you feel about everything afterwards. Get yourself in that mindset.

I know why he is act. I'm sure it's because he has to give me money tonight.

Really? Wow.. you've become quite a mindreader again.

I just really need to talk myself into being okay and NOT getting emotional and remain calm.

Now THAT'S the spirit.

Try this instead:

"I know that he was in a pissy mood when he called earlier, and I know it has nothing to do with me. I hope he'll be in a better mood if/when he visits K, but I know I can't control it. I know I'm going to be calm and even happy when he's there, regardless of his mood. I know that I'm going to stay upbeat, friendly, and distant. I know that even if he tries to get me to argue, I won't do it."

You can do this!!