Lissie, I know it seems new but my STBXH first started this rollercoaster ride about 2.5 years ago. Started to question the relationship back then and we then went to MC (which he did not participate in at all). He started his A with OW in Nov of 2007 and moved out for a couple of weeks at christmas. There was a false R and now all of this. Add to it my illness and emtions tend to move forward at a faster pace. I truly was done and ready to move on, that is until I found out that the cancer may have spread. Again, I truly believe that most of the emotions I am feeling are out of fear that I will die alone. I know in my heart that I wont because I truly have wonderful friends and family, still you dont think you are going to face something like this without your partner, your best friend, your soul mate. I obviously still have alot of learning to do in my time and the universe is making sure it smacks me hard so that I can wake up and learn it.
Thank you for your encouraging words as well. I see that it is ok to have just a sliver (and I mean the smallest of slivers) of hope yet I need to turn away from that right now and focus solely on me and my son. Nothing I do will control my STBXH, so stop worrying if my actions are going to pull him or push him. Worry about me.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
