New Thread-Husband Moved in With OW(T2L)

[hope3343]

Hey so goooood to hear from T2L and JGrind.. I kinda know when we don't check in that we are having an off day (or 2!), so glad you are back in the loop.
JGrind, my heart goes out to you about D. My D15 was thought to be borderline ADD when she was 9 or 10, but by 6th grade she came into her own. She struggled with homework also and just did not get it. One teacher said let her work it on her own, well that was the worst advice EVER. We finally sat with her and broke it down little by little with a break every 15 minutes or so which helped. We also got her involved with this summer course (I think it was called fast track) which helps kids improve their comprehension etc. I swear that program rewired her brain and taught her skills. I will try and get the website for you. I do think that most of her frustration comes with H sleeping with OW...What the h... I CAN'T believe that he did that. Well I can believe but don't want to. It was dumb and selfish. Is this "I want to be happy". It is soooo frustrating. JGrind do not beat yourself up. You sound like you are doing all the right things. But I would let H know what your D saw and tell him that it is not acceptable. He needs to be accountable and there is no excuse for that kind of behavior. Tell him that his D "deserves to be happy also" and she WONT seeing that.

T2L, you sound great. You know we have those high and lows. I did not get any of those books..yet. I got a Sophie Kinsella book from the library. Wanted something non-therapy. I am also reading the book from G. Neuman that I downloaded from the Oprah show. I am about 70 pages into it. Interesting reading. Good points about how for men it actually is not about the sex it is about the emotional support. I hope everyone downloaded it. As for GAL - I sent an e-mail to my new friend to get together this weekend for coffee whatever, also spent last Saturday with her and went out to lunch. I walk the beach barefoot (nature's best pedicure) which is the best therapy for me. I also am going to start swimming again since we have a membership at this clubhouse (another expense my H wanted) till next year) so I might as well use the pool since we are paying for it.
Yesterday was a good day. As you know I sent the e-mail truth dart (in earlier post I cut/paste). When I got home, H was waiting for me to mention it (past behavior), I didn't. Our D was at a football game, so instead of staying home and maybe getting into a conversation I did not want to -- I am going for a walk, H looked surprised. I stayed out till dark -- ok ok - I drove through the apt complex he is moving into to check it out also!
I got home and he was working on the computer (A first since all of this started),He asked my opinion about work, and I made some points about it. Then D came home at 10 and I said I am taking a shower and went to bed. He came to bed late. I think he is starting to freak out that he has not told our D's that he is moving out the end of the month. It is weighing heavily on his soul. Not my problem.
Today I saw him outside and he stops me and says you are doing your power walk (I stroll on the side of one building to get me away from my desk), then he says you really lost alot of weight and is that a new shirt? I said it didn't fit me before. I was in Walmart buying flashlights for hurricane the week before and I saw a clearance of shirts from $3.00 to $7.00, I bought 4 tops for $18. faded glory etc. The funny part is that I got more compliments on the last 2 shirts I wore than the stuff I bought from Dillards -- go figure. Maybe because they are smaller size? I did not want to tell H I got them at Walmart because he is a Polo type guy. I can keep secrets too...lol
Then H gets a text from D15, she is sick (gets migraines), has really bad one, I tell H I will get her (normal pattern), then H says I should go and spend some time with her, so I back off and say that will be fine. I talked to D15 she is going to sleep. I sent a one line e-mail to H, thanking him for picking up D and that I appreciate it. As bad as the end of the month will be, I felt empowered today.
P.s. It is my birthday tomorrow, sniff sniff. I remember my 50th -- my H and Ds threw me a big birthday party. How times have changed. Can't dwell on the past need to look at today and the future.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{group hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
What doesn't kill us will make us strong