I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you. I do wish you well, and hope you'll let us know if/how we can help. I will say this, in case your wife is reading this:
If she will read the totality of your posts, and be honest with herself, she will see how you are being MORE than fair with her. I just don't think she wants to face her own issues, nor own her own blame for her infidelity. But that's HER demon to face, not yours, and -- as you've said -- you have your own with which to deal.
