Guess it has been awhile since I posted. Not to much has happened until today. My W and I have not talked a whole lot in the last few days.
This morning she called me on her way to work. I was at work heading back to the office. She asked if that was me that she met on the highway. I told her yes. She said she was not going out of state with her cousin this weekend. She said he was taking her car if that was all right with me. Told her that was fine. (her car)
She then said she made an appointment with L Friday. She said that she needed to get this over with so people would get off her case. (she catches alot of crap about the A from her family and others) The L said that it should not be a problem since we can agree on an even financial split. She asked me if that was still the case. I hesitated and said no it should not be a problem. She asked why I hesitated and whether or not I was going to blind side her with something. I told no I was not. She then wanted to know what the hesitation was for.
I told her it was still not what I wanted and that it hurt. She said she never meant to hurt me. I told her that I never meant to hurt her either. She said she knows. Then she said that she had to go because she was starting to cry and had to go to work.
She had to go to work is kind of irritating. I was at work and could get hurt or killed if my head is not on straight. When I got to the office and went outside to smoke I wondered where my tazer was. I had put it on the charger and didn't remember doing it. The sheriff was understanding he was divorced about 20 years ago and said take a couple days of sick time.
Talked to another friend at work. He said that his wife was upset that my W had not called her or returned her calls. They talked often when we were in MC and since this A started she has not heard from her.
It does hurt bad. Rationally I know I will be ok and move on, emotionally is a different story. The only thing I can do is hold a little until this is over and then move on with my life. Sorry for those that in previous threads thought this would work out. I don't have any hope left.
So it is time to go beat on old cars and drink beer.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
