I read a National Geographic article on elephants what they looked for the most was sex, sustenance, and security
Well - those elephants are getting more of one of those s-words than I am...
Quote:
Real lasting security is more unpredictable and I believe we are not made to be too comfortable here or we become lazy and useless and are at more risk for a fall than if we have a certain amount of stress to motivate us.
I know - you are right. I thought I had reached a nice plateau - am just feeling a little tired right now. I know what I need to do - I will get it together in time. Not so sure if it is good or bad - I always do...
The financial crisis is getting a little scary too.... Everything I check the news - something else is crumbling. What on earth does one invest one's retirement funds/savings in these days?
Well the vacation glow is most definately gone. Today was a bit of wallowing in self pity kind of day...
I am feeling a little tired, overwhelmed and paralyzed. Work is going at a snail's pace. I have about 2-3 months work on my desk - it is actually a good thing - it was my goal... But I am a little weary of the never ending work right now...
In any case, plans for the weekend are falling into place. My GF (neighbor across the street) does a lot of volunteer work for different organizations. I am going to spend Saturday morning volunteering at a place where they distribute food to those in need. She is also working there on Sunday with her kids - a good activity to keep in mind for when my yet to exist kids are old enough. Sunday is comfort food cooking class at Williams Sonoma. She is one of the three neighbor couples that I got together with a couple of weeks ago - I have no idea how we got so busy and just didn't have time to get together. I am so glad that we did - this is the social circle where I belong.
The Block - well not really a priority right now. If I meet someone that intrigues me I will deal with it then. Really the endless posts parallel number of angels dancing on a pinhead discussions. And it is possible that I will die a born again virgin - so be it. I can't force it.
I did turn to my ultimate stress comfort food - Haagen Daaz ice cream - ate all three ice cream bars!
Life is well a little tiring right now. I don't really need a break. I need to get my sh!t together and get on top of things again.
Did a 2 1/2 week trip to India in 2002. The X was there so I included New Delhi and Agra (Taj Mahal) and of course family in Kolkatta. But them my favorite part was going to my mostest favorite state Kerala. I rented a houseboat (made of woody stuff - not fiberglass - no motor) - and floating down the backwaters of Kerala. And staying at Periyar Wildlife Park. There were wild elephants there. Saw some of the while hiking - that was an adventure - had to run away when a male elephant decided that he had to sit on the trail we were walking to protect the herd! I will have to send you a picture of an adult and juvenile elephant playing in the water - saw them from a boat we rented.
Sigh... just thinking vacation thoughts always relax me...
I could post about angst - or happy pink and blue thoughts - vacations!
Well the following are the vacation plans in work:
(i) Semi-vacation (October): The Seminar. I think I am one of the few women on the planet that can go to a seminar with 7000+ men (100 or less women) and come back with perhaps 7000 male girlfriends! LOL!
In any case - I have palined myself into a vice chairman position of a highly visible committee. Given the current uncertainties and my plans to expand my client base - I really do need to go. I need to maintain current potential Humongo client R's so I can ask for work when I am ready. And really it is a lot of fun and a couple of my male girlfriends will be there - haven't seen some of them in awhile. And I was in heaven last time when they had the chocolate fondue fountain and strawberries and champagne during the dessert reception...
(ii) The HS Reunion (November): I lived in NJ for two years and I have two good friends through work that live in Philly. I haven't called my GF from HS back yet. She lives in the area - if she decides to go - I will go and do a long weekend. I love the Rodin Museum there - I can spend a few days hanging out in the city.
(iii) Cambodia (December or January): I was planning on 10 days in December. But my cousin is getting married in mid-January... It is silly to fly that far twice... I need to research how long it will take to see the sights in Cambodia and then see if I can include a flight to India for the wedding. Ms. Wiggie is 18 and has kidney issues. My cat lady is great about taking care of her - but I hate to leave her for more than a week. We will see - maybe I will pay her to stop by twice a day...
(iv) Singles cruise (February): I am exchanging emails with this woman I met at the Resort. I have my whole 90 day probation thing - so I am in the getting to know her phase. So far no red flags. She is independent - so we would get our own rooms - I prefer that. (Besides who wants a room-mate at a singles cruise! ) She is looking into the cruise and will send me information - we will see..
(v) Still waiting to see what kind of credit The Resort offers b/c of the hurricane. I am done with Turks and Caicos. Perhaps I will use it on Martinique location - they have some nice diving there too. And there is a very strong French influence at that resort - might be fun! That one depends on what happens...
In the meanwhile - other GAL activities. My neighbor GF volunteers at different organizations almost every weekend. I am joining her this weekend and do other stuff as it comes along. There is a Ronald McDonald house thing coming up in a few weeks... I want to work in a grunt capacity only - do not want to make any decisions.
Cooking classes. I have signed up for the weekly Williams Sonoma classes. After being The Wife - I got very burned out and took a hiatus from cooking for awhile. Lived on Donuts and pizza delivery for an entire year - and lost weight! I am ready to get back into it again! And well The X was so picky about food - cooking was not as much fun - now my cooking world is wide open!
Working Out: I am so happy that The Bulge is gone! It took 3 months - and I feel normal again! And my metabolism is back to normal. I actually am losing weight - even when I am not trying! Although the goal is really more about being in shape and increasing upper body muscle mass. I really need to start weights and get over my angst over being a walking mass of pain for awhile... And I am still doing the Breast Cancer walk - just changed the location to Chicago. I want to use this opportunity to meet people locally and really doing those longer walks alone while training can be very boring.
Gardening: I have really let that whole gardening thing go this year. Maybe I will stop by my favorite nursuries to see what is on sale. This is planting season after all - and I want to plant a Harry Lauder Walkng Stick and maybe a Redbud or two.... I really liked this weeping redbud that I was during the charity garden tour - and I have been looking to add a little color - there is this redbud with reddish leaves. Yes... todays procrastination will involve going to the nursury...
Okay - re-reading this post - life is good again! Work is work. Stress is a part of life. But there are a lot of other aspects to life - and those are going well!
And yes I have yet again jettisoned The Block related goals... But really I don't think I can force that one. I am getting out of the hermit habitat more. And I won't immediately re-define every single man I meet as a male girlfriend well maybe I will for a little while - but I am not going to date someone just to check off "dating someone" off a to do list. However - now that I have jettisoned The Block - well I will call The Frenchman b/c he is fun to talk to and will email Nice Resort Guy b/c he is also interesting. And for now b/c I feel better - in my head I need to label them male girlfriends....
Yes Life is Good - now need to get off my butt and get a few work related things out the door!
Since this BB is anonymous - I can admit to considering attending this event... Just received an email about a charity black tie event....
A friend is a Fox news anchor (we all have secrets! ) And his secret - he votes Democrat! LOL! He - through Fox is hosting a Pediatric Cancer Foundation Black Tie Event this Saturday... The guest is well that person that played Bobby Brady - not exactly an impressive personality...
It would be fun to dress up and go to this... And GF neighbor across the street is going with her H. She is the one that is working on the Bikini body! LOL! Going with her make me reconsider ditching that goal! LOL! There will be running food (hor ouevres) and wine...
And I think I will fit into my law firm prom dress again... That will be the test. But I will have to wear heels...LOL!
I think I am going to go - I need more fun in my life! Besides I always have fun talking to my Fox Anchor friend about their very even fair and unbiased coverage of recent events in the news! LOL!
Life is good. Work stress - what is that? I am off to go try on my dress!
I am not sure why I am having a tougher time than usual beating this stuck/paralyzed feeling....
I am rested. I think I am mentally tired of work Turbulence. I was hoping for a nice plateau resting point. And I really was going to skip the seminar - I don't need the CLE credits - it is in DC (been there done that) - it is expensive (I would rather spend the money of personal stuff).
And this whole financial crisis is on my mind... I wish a businessman/woman was running for president...A Buffet, Bloomberg, Forbes,Bill Gates and/or Carly ticket would be nice. Buffet predicted things would get a lot worse before it got better months ago... I have finally saved up the 401k amounts for 2007 (deadline is Oct 15th) and will have the 1/2 the amount for 2008 by the end of the month - I was lazy and didn't have time to hire someone to invest it - now I am relieved that it is sitting in an 401k basic savings account. My old 401k stuff is dropping like a rock...
My boss called yesterday - he has been out sick with the flu. We have a number of pressing issues - so when I didn't hear from him for awhile - I started wondering if he was let go...
My Humongo Client assigned assistant went on maternity leave 1 1/2 weeks ago. I was finally assigned a temporary assistant - was wondering if they were going to let me go - looks like not yet. They also renewed my humongo client email account and my access to their databases... That could just be automtatic logistical stuff...
The end of the fiscal year is Oct - I suspect the layoffs will start next fiscal year. This CEO is known for being Mr. Genius Cost Cutter - and he is doing a gutsy merger - I suppose he needs to do this... Sometimes you wonder for whom - not the people employed by the company... Stock prices are all that matters... That being said - b/c I am outside counsel - I am paid from a different bucket of money. Sometimes when companies over-fire - they turn to contractors to do the work....
lodo posted something on his thread - and I suspect it may be very true in my case... When some women face stress - they dump their R's - some men think their R's will wait... That struck a cord with me - my C accused me of doing that very same thing in pre-M R's... Was a little harsher - accused me of treating men like prostitutes that I used and dump at my own convenience back then... I was very cognizant of that during my M - perhaps so much so that I swung too far the other way and I became too exhausted... And now I find myself at a point in my career where work is a very significant component of my life. Perhaps I will have to wait till I retire to date. In the midst of my tiredness right now - that feeling that I simply do not have the time or energy for an R is very strong... And I will no longer use men when I have a little down time...C clockwork oranged me out of that one...
Tiredness or not - I am commited to my GAL actitivities...
Today was a bit of wallowing in self pity kind of day...
I am ready to get back into it again! And well The X was so picky about food - cooking was not as much fun - now my cooking world is wide open! 
And my metabolism is back to normal. I actually am losing weight - even when I am not trying! Although the goal is really more about being in shape and increasing upper body muscle mass. I really need to start weights and get over my angst over being a walking mass of pain for awhile... And I am still doing the Breast Cancer walk - just changed the location to Chicago. I want to use this opportunity to meet people locally and really doing those longer walks alone while training can be very boring.