I feel yucky right now. I feel nauseas and tired. I have to go to work but I would so much rather stay in bed with the covers over my head and pretend that yesterday never even happened.
After my session I called my best friend and was crying on the phone so she had me come over to her house and we went out to dinner which was nice. She is a great friend who will listen to my rants and she probably knows my husband and I the best because she has been there through the whole thing. So said I should ignore him for awhile. Basically the same idea as going dark. One word answers and don't take every phone call. LRT all over again I guess.
I talked it over with my mom too. The general consensus is that until he grows up and comes to terms with the fact that he needs to make a lot of changes in the way he deals with life in general there is not much hope for us to have a sucessful marriage. I get the feeling that our counselor was saying the same thing. He said he feels like he is trying to pull two opposite magnetic poles together but there is too much resistance.
I know I need to make changes too. I need to learn to keep my cool and not let his moods affect me so much. But the bigger issue here is how he treats me when he is upset with me. He is so rude and disrespectful and that is what really makes me lose it, not his moods. I could go into detail but I don't have time. Bottom line is that when he doesn't want me to be around him or when he doesn't want to talk he lashes out in anger and is highly disrespectful until I get madder and madder to the point where I walk away. All it does is cause a lot of damage, like yesterday, and makes the initial issue seems gigantic and impossible to overcome. He needs to learn to deal with things in an appropriate way and not like a small child.
Well I should get going. Thanks for your posts guys. I need them more than ever now.
