My wife of almost 28 years told me 6 weeks ago that she was not in love with me, not happy for a while 2-4 years, and that she didn't think we could get the feelings back. There is M who was just EA, I thought, but now I do not know. she moved out of he house 5 weeks ago. We have one teenage daughter and 3 other adult children and two grandkids. I did chase her for the first couple of weeks and have backed off. I have reviewed Sandi's postsand followed her 180 list. My wife is financially not good right now and it doesn't appear this OM is giving her any financial support. he is also married and has been a player for a number of years with other married women.
everthing seems to revolve around my jealousy and when we would party on weekends, she would flirt to the max which would send me off. I would say terrible things about our marriage and that she wanted other men, the whole shooting match. I asked her many times over the past couple of years what was wrong and her constant reply, nothing, don't worry about it. Well since she dropped the bomb on me, I have stopped drinking, lost weight, go to the gym. My house and finances are continually better. she claimed part of her unhappiness was bills, house, kids and me.
She is not her. Her friends have told me she has decided that she doesn't want me, doesn't know really what she wants, but not me. She told her mother the whole problem had been the drinking. Our family is devastated. Everyone, including friends, love the change in me. after readign several posts, I am wondering if I should take the stand "don't believe anything she says". I love my wife immensely and want her back. I am going dark on her to a degree. She has blown off her kids as well. she told them this past Sunday she was taking two of my duaghters to lunch. then it changed to 2 o'clock, then 4 o'clock, then halftime of the Pats game, then she would be there after the game. One daughter has already shunned her. the youngest is very adamant that her mother is a different person.
In reading all I can about MLC and WAW, I need to know from some WAWs what I should be doing, how do I determine if she will ever come back and what should I expect from her if financially she just can't make it. Do you think that she will realize that a mistake has been made? Her friends have told my family and hers that she is making the biggest mistae of her life. But they don't want to push her because they believe she is very fragile, hanging by a thread. Her emotions towards me ar very cold, and to the point of completely ignoring me when we are together at social events. I have taken to doing the same, letting her initiate any conversation or contact. It is very hard for me. I want to grab her and kis her and hold her in hopes she will snap out of this. Do I have any ope here. She communicates with the OM daily via text and her cell phone. She intially had said he was there for emotional support, but knowing this guy he played on her emotions and the fact that when we both drink it got ugly. Will she come back to me?
