Hi millicent- peace is right...find your balance and the pain will fade. It may always be a sore spot, but for as long as your H and ex-friend's relationship lasts, you will learn to deal with it...it sucks but you know you are strong enough to get past this too.
I think your younger D will eventually see how wrong your H and ex-friend are...right now she just sees how everything effects her. It should feel good to know that your older D's moral compass is intact and in full working order. Wasn't it your older D that was just wanting to spend more time with her dad? Looks like your H's news probably put an end to that.
Where are you in the D process? I recommend to everyone out there, think long term with your child custody arrangements. Even if you agree with everything now, you may not a few years down the road...especially if another person comes into the picture trying to put their 2 cents into the equation. I know my XH's W wears the pants in their family and what she says goes. Rather than just being a benevolent person in my children's lives, she trys to be a third parent...actually, at times, you would think she was my children's other parent.
I am so glad you are able to bounce back quickly...just be try to be prepared to take a sucker punch every now and then.
