We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[native]

"Did she really think I appreciated being her punching bag for the last 7 years?"

So she took out her unhappiness on you it looks like. How unfortunate. Our spouses and children should get our very best, and while we should carry one another's burdens, there is a time to put burdens aside and be lighthearted. For my W, it was only after she talked everything out that she was able to let go. But she hasn't really then turned her attention to me or my needs as a rule. Sometimes I would have to say ' I have some things I need to talk about as well'.

I feel that if my W's life were a feast, she brought me back the leftovers, but she gives herself in extraordinary ways to strangers, student-workers in her programs and collegues.

In her own way I'm sure she put effort into our R, but not in the ways I would have been most touched. The difference in love languages ( Dr. Gary Chapman) here is very important. I know I did not speak her love language often enough or very well. And I don't even know if she could tell you what mine are, though I have told her clearly.