'm not saying my behavior was not an issue at all, I'm not saying I was perfect. I am saying that she never asked me to fix things; she only blamed. She is using my behavior as a retroactive excuse for what she did and is doing.
As long as you give yourself a break. No one on this earth is perfect. The world is not black and white. Not taking the time to see if things can be fixed means you have not left no stone unturned.
Guilt must set in. Children as adults must see the lack of effort on her part. It all must come back andbite her on the rear!
Hang in with the kids. Be the father and man that they need. Plenty of books on that. Maybe its time to really make sure that you are doing everything right ( in the situation your in ) so that your kids as adults will appreciate. Important that S and D have the male role model that they need , so they dont go on and repeat history.
Today I feel that I can survive this and that I can go on and build the business I have always dreamed etc etc Dam roller coaster ride this has turned out to be.
My parents return from overseas soon and as much as I need there support , I dont need their interference. They hurt because i hurt. They want to protect. i dont need their 10c as it may influence me in a direction I am not sure I want to go in.
Your W seems to have some bad influences. Wouldn't it be nice to up and move and have a whole clean start ? You would lean on each other and support each other. How strengthening would that be Ah!
Alas our universe has other plans for us I think.
I think your wife has had a taste of the movie love stuff. A are exciting and new and lovey dovey but they are not real. Now I think your W is either holding out for OM or thinks that , that is what should happen.
I feel her pain. I too have hungered for that. But realised that the satisfaction you get from that kind of first love - new love is short lived. She needs to understand this. As soon as she realises that no matter who and what relationship she gets going with, they will all end in the same place and that is probably where you were kicked off. Unless she realises what drove her to another man she will repeat the cycle.
My A had nothing whatsoever to do with my H. It was all about my needs that i thought were not being met. They were being met , I just could not see them because I was selfish.
My thoughts are with you as you tackle this problem. how do you communicate this to your W. I dont know but I know for sure that I am right. She better sit up and smell the roses otherwise she will never find happiness.
Quote:
I admit that I made a mistake in throwing her out of the house when I learned of her affair.
Surely you don't believe this. You did exactly what was right. She did wrong. I wonder if not enough responsibilty has been set upon her. Like a child if the consequences of action are not demonstrated , the lesson is not learnt........
