Guess I'm staying here awhile longer

[istherehope]

(((Daisy)))

I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out the way you wanted yesterday.

What I can say is that it sounds like you are strong, and have a good sense of what you are looking for. You are saying you need to see serious changes in the marriage in order for it to work out. Good, this makes you less of a victim and more of an equal within the relationship. You are NOT just along for the ride, but you have goals of your own beyond simply your H coming back to you.

You've also mentioned that you want to be chased and pursued. So now is the time for you to put yourself in that position. You are strong, so follow up on this and don't contact him at all. When he contacts you, not if but when, remain a bit detached and let him ask you for more.

All I can say is at the beginning it also seemed like it was working when I pursued my H. He went along with things, including future talk etc. However I know now that these things weren't coming from his heart. He was going along with what I was saying/doing out of obligation, habit etc. While my H is maybe MLC and yours is anything but, I'd say there are some similarities. I think because of age older/younger, they do NOT want to be bullied into doing what we want them to do. I don't mean to say that you are bullying your H, but he is likely to see it this way. Make him curious about you Daisy. Since you are resolute on what you want in this marriage, the worst that can happen is that he doesn't pursue, and then you know this might not be what you are looking for. I can almost guarantee that he will pursue though, and I am sure that if you are feeling more confident and resolute, he will feel this and sense this from you, even with minimal contact.

ITH