I walked for about 45 minutes and when I came back his car was gone.
I called him in the driveway and he said he was going home. I asked him to turn around and come back so we can go to counseling and he refused and we had a huge argument on the phone. Some backsliding on my part but I was so hurt and furious I could not stop! He is suck a jack---! I hate him for doing this to me over and over and over again. No matter what I do it is not good enough, even when I do the thing he wants me to do! He told me to give him space so I did and he left without so much as a phone call to say goodbye!
I told him he was running away. He did not agree. I yelled, I screamed, I cursed, I cried. Nothing made a difference.
Finally I calmed down a little bit and explained that I was mostly upset because the number one thing that always made him mad was that I was always frustrated and tense and got too stressed out about things and would not just "let things go" and yet here we are and he refuses to let anything go and I am like "can you just come back so we can have a good night together?". But no. . .
He was in a bad mood. SO WHAT! Get over it! Man up!
It makes me insane because I have given this man everything and he is just such a pain in the rear! He is so ungratful and mean sometimes I cannot stand it!
I have been there for him more than anyone else in his life. They have all abandoned him at one point or another and yet I am always there for him.
Ugh.
Sorry. I hope some/any of that makes sense. I'm writing as I rage to my mom and I keep repeating myself.
Anyways big fight. Ended with him saying he is going to meet me at counseling (apparently he is parked somewhere between my house and his house) but that he did not want to hang out afterwards and then after that he said he would meet me and then we would see about afterwards.
Hopefully you are now in C and have calmed down dramatically. Next time he gets in a pissy mood you need to act "as-if". When he doesn't want to talk about it then shrug it off and ignore the mood. Have a regular chat while he is there offer something to drink..go about like nothing is wrong at all. It doesn't always work but most of the time this method will cause them to come out of their funk without you getting yourself upset and escalating the situation.
Tonight was terrible. Counseling was rotten. Afterwards he bolted like a bat outta hell and when I caught up with him I tried to get him to let it go (like the counselor said!!!) but he refused and we argued again. It ended with me telling him that if he just left I would not speak to him again and he said "fine" so I walked off and he drove away.
I don't want to talk to him. Right now I hate him. He is so inmature and crazy sometimes. Even when the counselor tells him what he needs to do to make this work he ignores the advice two seconds later.
I would post more but I am still angry and don't want to type out all my rantings.
I really am not going to talk to him. I'm going very very dark. Ice Queen is in town! He can kiss it!
Don't let his mood determine yours! You need to try to detach from it. If he isn't going to do anything, go on without him!
Like after counseling, you can't chase him down to "tell" him to let it go! He has to decide to let it go on his own. Every time you "tell" him anything, and you might not even think it is "telling", he sees you as a controlling W. Reality doesn't enter into it, it is his perception!
As far as the C's advice, he is almost certainly not going to follow it immediately. Again, he doesn't want to lose control. He is going to wait, and think about it. Then, IF he decides it is a good idea, he might follow it, and it will probably be HIS idea!
Back to the original point, detach your emotions from his, and act "as if", if you need to. Don't let him pull you down into his drama!
I would have said it directly, but a little thinking helps us all get into this mode! I have no problem with blond! Some of my favorite people are blond.
