thanks brian...I appreciate your thoughts and inquiry,
Quote: Went back through your posts to try to see when this downhill slide started. You had a lot of very positive posts in late June. Early July seemed to get more negative, but some positive ones as late as mid-July. Since then worse and worse. I didn't notice any particular triggers, just general crappiness from your H, but was there anything in particular that has spurred this?
back at the end of may was when I took off one night with h's keys and went to his office to find locked up in a safe, cards and pics and a piece of jewelry from ow...h never really addressed it..claims to have just thrown them away...other than that I don't really know what has happend.
Quote: Here's a question. How much of all of the problems would seem so much less consequential if your sex life were good? You rant about many things, but how much would be solved if that single area was improved? Please understand, I am in no way minimizing your complaints. But I think your perspective might be much different if you had the satisfaction, intimacy, and love that a good sex life might provide. Other problems would seem so much smaller, and your life would feel so much richer. What do you think? Am I oversimplifying too much here?
BINGO!!! this has been the crux of many problems round here for years and h has been told so much...he must just have thick cranium because he doesn't get it...no wait a minute I don't get it! hardi har har. but you see the problem eventually reaches such a state that what would be the original "solution" becomes more of a problem...h waits too long...and then to me it is not seen or felt as something loving and intimate and connecting it as seen as he's just finally horny and I'm here.
Quote: I'm sure you've tried to get him to read Michele's book.
when he first decided he'd like to try to come home, he was confused and scared etc. I was on my way out to an apointment so I left him with the infidelity section of dr to help him feel a little better...when I got home he had read that section and started reading the book from the begining...claimed to want to read more but that was the end of that.
sure h will go to c...but it seems to me that he wants to just sit there and say everthing is great. If any "issues" are brought up he withdraws...he may retreat and think about it later someway somehow indirectly but I never count on it.
Quote: Is he willing to work on the problem?
not directly.
ie. after this mornings phone call (the one during wich he hung up on me) I found someone to help me out with the kids so I could go to the apointment...I never called to let him know anything...he called at noon to see if I got someone...he called at 2:30 to see how my exam went and to let me know about a thunderstorm that would be passing through and to be careful...he called at 5 to ask about traffic and weather...he called at 8:30 (I had class tonight) to let me know about another storm passing...he called at 8:40...he called at 9 to see if I got the 8:30 message and to let me know about the storm. when I did get home he showed me the storm on the puter...and now he's watching tv...I'm sorry but calling me about storms and telling me to be careful isn't going to get you out of being a jerk and hanging up on me. Will he eventually say "LL I'm sorry about today (or the other day) I just want it all to be in the past...I didn't make the connection that you did with my not being available to take you to the doc (connection to him taking ow to doc apt) I'm sorry all of this ever happend...I LOVE YOU LL" aint gonna happen. instead he may try to just be goofy or heck even initiate sex...I'm tired of that routine..it just doesn't work.
