"Sadly, my friends make it more difficult for me to let go. I've got to listen to everybody and nearly EVERYTHING they say makes me wince inwardly at the pain. They mean well, of course, but they recall things I'm trying so hard to forget."
I know this sounds weird.. but don't try and forget where you came from. It is important to remember the things that shape who you are as a person. It helps to be able to look back and "re-evaluate" (sp?). There is a post over in Newcomers that SG the Mod started. The title is "What you resist Will Persist." There is really not much in the post.. but the title says it all. Over in Newcomers.. that title has a different meaning.. anywhere else it takes on another meaning. When you are in this "spot" you just can't "see" the things you are learning. You tend to focus on the things that don't need to be focused on. Your friends will focus on the "vibe" they get from you.. people that know you can "read" you. A lot of times the will focus on the wrong thing at the wrong time. Call me crazy.. but they are getting that focus from you.
"I have dropped the rope for real and I'm not going to contact H, no matter what."
The more people say that.. the less I believe them. You can always tell when that are or have dropped the rope.
"I know that he will have to face the "Spider reality" sooner or later."
I told someone else.. knowing is easy. You have to accept it in order to move on.
"It's just that at the moment GALing makes it harder for me..."
This is why I tell people to never underestimate the power of you. The second you take control of your life.. it gets easier. Look at the effect.. his choices are having on you.
The same thought applies to you. The second you doubt it.. they rip the control away.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
