Bethie, I think you're right. W's parents divorce about the time she was 14. That seems to be the mental age she's reverted to.
Donna, most of the guys from the DC group have fallen by the wayside. One got engaged and married within mere weeks of his D. One got his nose out of joint trying to pursue one of the other group members and she finally had to rebuff him. Another is seeing some lady from out of state. All in all, most of the guys in my group are just not "getting it", DC that is. And my poor buddy "S" has been through the wringer with his STBXW -- unfortunately his obsession and bitterness is and has gotten the better of him. He's a very nice guy and all, but he is not really hearing what all of us are trying to say to him. He really needs to let his STBXW go. (She is bad news ...and I have first hand experience with just how bad she really is. But that's another long story.)
Tal, I am doing okay. Much, much better than last week. Physically speaking. No more bad incidences and my health seems stable again. I've got a very busy week and a big deadline looming for Monday, so I've had my mind occupied. I had a good evening at cub scouts with S7 last night. And I have been laying the keel, so-to-speak, for a new story I'm writing -- which always lifts my spirits by getting the creative juices flowing.
I got to see W's new apartment last night, dropping S7 off after the scout meeting. I just keep wondering how she expects to be able to afford both an apartment lease and half the house note when I am struggling to do so -- and I supposedly make much more than she does. It just don't add up. But I must let it go. And let her go.
Im glad that your doing ok. Cub scouts, that is great!! S5 wants to join, but he has to wait until he's in 1st grade. New story huh. Hope I get to read it some day
Take care my friend.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Was it weird/odd to see W's apartment? I wonder how I will react when my H finally gets a place of his own. It'll be so odd to see him make that huge step to move on.
Have either one of you taken the next step towards a D?
In a way, yes. It feels so... alien. She's bought new furniture (after admonishing me for having done the same when I had to move out a year ago. The hypocrite.) And I don't like thinking about what's going to happen there when the boys are with me and she's "alone" -- I avoided the master bedroom for that reason. D*mn it.
I am still working with my L and (I assume) she's working with hers. Once we agree on a settlement and sign a Separation Agreement, I can guarantee W will burn rubber to the courthouse to file. Much as I want this tragedy behind me, I'm not interested in helping her speed things along. So I'm taking my time providing materials for her L, focusing my energies on more fruitful endeavors.
And I don't like thinking about what's going to happen there when the boys are with me and she's "alone" -- I avoided the master bedroom for that reason. D*mn it.
Us paper bag dwellers think alike. I think about that too. Normal, I hope!
Most people are weak. That is what you are seeing amongst the people you know. Indiscrimination during times of weakness is not uncommon. Unfortunately weakness is a part of being human. Don't worry about others who may fall into this. You just stay strong for yourself, and be a good role model, and source of positive support for those around you.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Yes, people are weak. It's just that I sometimes continue to be surprised at how people I thought were so strong can have such deep-seated hang-ups. People who I thought could be so wise, can then turn around and act so foolish. I just want to take them aside, hug them and say, "It doesn't have to be this way, brother/sister." I know we're all only human, but it's not very encouraging.
But then that just means I need to lean on the Lord all the more. He won't fail us or let us down.
And I don't like thinking about what's going to happen there when the boys are with me and she's "alone" -- I avoided the master bedroom for that reason. D*mn it.
Us paper bag dwellers think alike. I think about that too. Normal, I hope!
Yrd I think we all think about that. I got to the point where I had to make my mantra, "It doesn't matter what he does". The truth is that I realized that he was out there and he was going to do whatever he darn well pleased. My worrying about it wasn't going to change a thing. I repeated it over and over again when I would start to get that sick feeling in my stomach worrying. Eventually it stuck!
