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Well... it has been a week and that is all he lasted...

Puppy..you said the chances were high that he ws keeping both plates spinning...

As hopeful and optimistic as I was... you obviously have very good intuition... it has all come crashing down. Hubby stayed with me all week... telling me we were going to work it out and he ended it with OW.

He was to gather his belongings on Sunday..and was actually going to move in with a friend to give him space to clear his head and work to rekindle our relationship.

He went back to her.... I found out at 5pm...he just said I went back.

Funny thing... i felt it coming and I am all cried out.. I have shed a few tears..but nothing more..I am sick of being his doormat and sick of my children crying.

He made his choice... I hope he is happy.(or miserable)

So... now I am not talking to him... what other advice do you have.. I think I have reached the point that you have been hoping I would get to... done.


Love,
Sandy


m/39
h/40
t/20,m/19
d14
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7/21/08 A W/Best Friend
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Sandy, I'm so sorry. And actually, as I do in ALL of these situations, I was hoping and praying that I was dead wrong.

Today is not a day for advice. Accept my ((((hugs)))) and our support and love, and take good care of yourself. We can come back tomorrow and figure out a gameplan.

Puppy

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(((Sandy))) Just looks like you need as many of these as you can get today.


LIS

M45
WW 43
D17/S14/D11

ILYB Jan 08
PA Conf Feb 08
OMW / OM contacted
S Jan / 09

No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
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oh sandy, I am so sorry!! That is a big fear I have also. You are not alone here with us!
Big Hugs


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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Sandy,

Are you really done or have you finally dropped the rope?

It is very typical for the return spouse to waver back and forth an avg. of 3 times. Key word being average. Now that your emotions are further in check carry your changes forward and live them. You will continue to show your H your true character and he will notice.

You have noticed and felt your intensity deminish, but deep down what is your true desire? THAT is what you want to work toward. You have moving from the needy to the needed. It is the transition that confuses the heck out of your H, he doesn't have the justification in front of him any longer. You're chnaging and have changed, you're a work in progress, he sees it, he just doesn't know how to handle it. He will figure it out with time, we simply don't know the timeline.

Hugs to you as I know how difficult this is.

Steve

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Sandy,

Sorry to hear that happened to you. About the same thing happened a couple weeks ago with my W. The whole miss you, want you back blah blah blah. A few days later back with OM.

It threw me back into a bad spot for a little while. I am not so sure I want her back anymore. Something we all have to decide.

I feel for you. Just hang in there and keeping fighting for yourself and your kids. Take care.


A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

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(((((san))))

So very sorry for you and your kiddies.. Take care and love eachother.


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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san Offline OP
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Thank you everyone.... the hugs are definately needed....

I am numb...
I feel like the biggest idiot ever. I know for my kids sake I have to move on and not let him do this to me emotionally. But, I will be honest, If he left her..and proved it for a long period of time, showed remorse, and worked to date me..I would love to fix our marriage and have him back.

That is why I am conflicted. I hate the situation and what he has done.. but I love him more than ever... seems crazy, but I have worked on me and how I can be a better wife and what I want in a relationship and in doing so...I fell deeper in love..

Everyone thinks I am crazy and stupid but... its just hard to move on.

Work is absolutely horrible.. seeing her makes me literally sick to my stomach... how she can do this.

I did bring boxes home today to start packing his things... what else can I do.

My heart is broken.
Help me....

Sandy


m/39
h/40
t/20,m/19
d14
d10
s3
3/19/08 ILYBNILWY
7/21/08 A W/Best Friend
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 257
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san Offline OP
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Steve...
What do you mean by drop the rope?

I feel like I have to be done..but I dont want to be...

Sandy


m/39
h/40
t/20,m/19
d14
d10
s3
3/19/08 ILYBNILWY
7/21/08 A W/Best Friend
Joined: Jun 2007
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(((san))) here's so more.

You don't have to be done. You just need to start focusing on yourself and kids right now or your going to make yourself nuts.

You have to occupy yourself. He is with your BF, is that true... Im so sorry. That is just horrible.

I sounds like you work together, is there some way you can avoid her?


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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