H stopped this morning. All seemed fine. He was in reg mood. Sort of snippy but okay. We talked and talked. Some how we got on the subject of him and his brother moving to nearby town where he works. I said what about the farm. He had all kinds of answers. I said well we can't do this forever (meaning support 2 households) he agreed, said we'd cross that bridge when we come to it. Talked of some other stuff. Then I had to get to work. So we both left.
I called him on my way to work. I told him I wanted to apologize if I made him feel guilty or put any pressure on him. That I know he is doing what he needs to do for him and I respect him for that. He laughed. I told him don't laugh I am being honest and I mean it. He said okay, thank you. I told him it's just hard and I do miss him. But I'll get used to it. That things will be okay. That I know God has a plan, I just haven't figured out what it is yet. We talked a little more then I ended the call.
So here we go again. We've been spending all this time together. Things seem better than they have been. And yet, H has no intention what so ever in coming home.
I am okay. I'm hurt. I'm sad. I'm confused. But I am okay. Trying not to analyze or think too much about it. Got some projects to get to work on this week while the weather is good. Hopefully that will "keep the bubble in the middle". LOL
TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
