? Not sure what you mean. Mockery of what? True I want my marriage back. But when I go golfing, I am not acting happy. I just am happy. When I play with the kids, it is no act. I'm happy with that. I'm not happy all the time and there are times when I look and see things that make me less than happy. I don't see how this is inconsistent.
I think I have got it wrong. What you are saying is that you are not pretending, you are in fact ok with your situation. You are doing things that are making you happy but it would be better with family in tact.
Soooooo how does W know that you are receptive to reconciliation if you are happy ? If you dont talk about R how does she know? Are you waiting for her to make first move ? In her shoes i am not sure I would have the courage. Hopefully you are aware of this and that you encourage any feelers she might put out.
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You let it be. The change doesn't have to tear you apart. It can make you sad, you can feel grief, but you can live with it. Fighting it is hurting you further.
Funnily enough that makes me feel better. I wont resist it. My H is very stubborn but I think he is also man enough to own up to error of choice if he ever feels this way.
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I am waiting for light and compassion to re-enter her heart. I am waiting for healing. I am waiting for grace. At the same time I am doing my thing - figuring out how to be happy with and for myself. Because a depressed broken man is not worth coming back to.
Is it compassion you want? Should not the compassion be coming from you. She had the A, she broke up the family, she took no contact order out. Compassion and forgiveness are yours first and foremost. For you, you must wait for her to be sad. She has to realise what she has given up , the cost to the kids and they pay the absolute highest price for this divorce. A and D are self indulgent and as a woman your children should always come first, making D a tough decision. Cant imagine where her head is at.
SPM - I am up to last resort in the book and that is excellent and I can see the benefits which fit in with what you were saying. I have in most ways these last few weeks doing the steps. I just have to learn to recognise oppotunites and make the most of them. Dont let frustration and anger get in the way.
