Quoting lostlove: thing is my kiddos are little, 4 and two. I can barely get son (4) to play memory card games never mind go fish (he just doesn't have the patience yet for that kind of stuff ...
yes, at those ages it might mean being a bit more creative ... altho I could spend hours playing with those Fisher-Price people. Do you have a playground close by? They do love being being on a swing pushed by a grown-up.
Quoting lostlove: ... h does not claim to be unhappy, infact he seems very happy ...
Maybe he doesn't realize all he is missing out on? ... actually he does, as you keep mentioning how he also expresses putting off doing things because of business or raising a family. It sounds like he has come to accept the philosophy that adults are required to put off their dreams or having fun in order to put their responsiblities first. He sees it as one or the other ... instead of being able to mix them up.
How much of a 180 would it be to have a talk that is all about him and don't mention anything about what you want/need? Is he truly happy with what he is doing now or is there more he would like to do? If he doesn't get to do them, will he regret it later in life. Are they any of the things you would like to share doing with him? Then maybe you could work out how to mix them into the present. I think he is missing the value of the doing those things now and accepting putting them off until later, but not realizing the risk that later may never come soon enough to actually do them and before he knows it ... has squandered too many years.
... and I know you've made to several attempts to change this, but sometimes it takes tweeking your approach in just a slightly different angle to make it work better. Have you tried what Michelle describes as asking what they see the M like and what you would be doing when they reach the point of truly being happy? Leave what you want or need out of it as a 180. Then ask why wait until then? Why not start doing some of that now? Are there some shared interests there that you can do together? Its a way to get the ball rolling.
I hope this doesn't sound like I have the answers LL, just trying to see how some of Michelle's principals could be applied to where your sitch is now.
Quoting lostlove: I am simply saying that we need to do some more work to find a middle ground. I need to learn to not focus on the r so much and h needs to learn to focus a bit more on it.
Yep. I think you're on the right track to some degree. I think more precisely its focusing on spending time together in a way that both of you feel you are having fun.
... altho I could spend hours playing with those Fisher-Price people. 
Do you have a playground close by? They do love being being on a swing pushed by a grown-up. 
