The ring issue is a touchy one...h knows all I want is for him to ask...I'd love an actual new proposal but a simple statement is really all I want.
last night when I got home from class h was awake.. he thanked me for putting the cover on the pool (something he said he wanted to do when he got home because it was going to rain) and for fixing a broken drawer (yes jethro LL vila). and then that wierd guy who first came home was here, you know the one who despite the hour couldn't keep his hands off me...I like that guy...he was here last night...then he appologized for how things went the other night (our argument wich was really stupid) and had a nice night together.
so I have a small dilema wich really has no solution... I needed a sitter for sat (I have emt class from 8am-4pm some saturdays) my gf called and said she missed me and the kids...I proposed we do something fri night she could stay over and then hang with the kids till h gets home from work aroun 1pm giving her time with me and then time with the kids. after making the plans and because h and I haven't spent a night together in a while I suggested to him that we do something saturday night...he said we'll see...that pissed me off...and from there the argument went.
gf suggested a place near her work as some of her work friends will be joining us...I didn't care for the idea...expressed it to h and that was that...at that point he already seemed (I know mindreading is no good) annoyed that I was going out (gee that's why I had suggested making plans for sat!) gf changed the plans to a place more in an area I'm familiar with (still a drive from here but anyplace is unless people come to me wich isn't always fair) but h still "seems" bothered.
honestly I would prefer that gf simply come up here, we hang out in the basement shoot some darts or go out local for dinner and then go to sleep, but that is what we typically do and it isn't always fair to her to drive up here.
here's the thing...when I was about to start emt class I was concerned that it would create a problem with my not being around..thought that if h still didn't "make" special time for me it would bother me, it hasn't (much) I'm so busy and tired that the quiet evenings are ok by me. during the "argument" the other night h brought up the fact that it was my choice to take this class (I hadn't brought it up at all) and that it's not his fault that it takes me away????
I'm puzzled...seems to me that despite the fact that h is not up and adam ready to play cards or shoot darts or something else....he wants me around. Now I have to wonder does he want me around becuase he wants me around or does he want me around because he doesn't trust me or am I simply assuming he wants me around??????
when we first got back together I still went out on occassion (mostly to the movies by myself or something like that) I had expressed to h that if he wanted me to stay home with him he simply need to speak up...say so...I may not always obliged but he should let me know instead of making me wonder.
I'm a tad confused.
part of me wants to go out tonight with gf and her friends...part of me wishes I could just tell her forget it just be here by 7am so I can leave for class, and then spend the evening with h..but I'm not sure if that's what I really want to do or if that's what I think would "keep the peace"
