Rob,
W blaming you for all that goes wrong with D, is just one part of her problem. She also can't seem to deal with the normal stuff that comes up with kids. What is she going to do the first time D defies her? She will not be able to get through the teenage years if she doesn't get a grip! She so sounds like she can't stand to be bothered with her own kid. Kids get sick, kids get lice, kids have accidents etc. I so hope you get at least joint custody,because D needs balance in her life, not hysterics.