The more I contemplate what she's doing, the more I'm losing my enthusiasm for being with and spending time with my W. I suppose I'm doing a little bit of projecting right now, she may do a 180 and things work out smashingly for us.
So, I'm noticing that I don't care as much what she is doing and with whom. I've also noticed that I'm thinking about moving on and the logistics of a major life change quite a bit. But, the thing that is surprising me the most is how I've been dealing with an attack of shakes not unlike stage fright for the past hour or so. I think that the nerves are coming on as a result of thinking about the coming confrontation about her behavior and affairs, the reality of a possible divorce and so on.
Actually, in some ways putting up with her bad behavior is much easier than facing the unknown future. That's probably why she hasn't had the guts to divorce me yet.
