I've tried to pretend like this is just about US. I've tried to rationalize the fact that you have turned to OW. There is no excuse for it. You've screwed up. This one is on you. Everything I thought we stood for for over 20 years has been thrown away.
I told you that I know she exists. Part of me knew this 2 years ago when you flatly denied it. I don't know for sure what you are going through, but I do know that THIS is wrong.
I cannot pretend like she doesn't exist anymore. I cannot continue to pretend like we are a family, but with different houses. It is not fair to me. It is not fair to our history, and it is not fair to our family.
Part of me wants to continue to reach out to you, to help you through what you are going through, because I know it's huge. Part of me wants to try to understand. I still love you and I always will, but the part of me that knows how wrong THIS is is taking over.
I know our marriage was troubled. I know we needed help a long time ago. Your solution, to turn to OW was wrong. What you have allowed yourself to do has affected you to the deepest part of your soul. I know that you know what you are doing is wrong. I know this because you can no longer look me in the eyes. I know this because when I try to talk to you about any of this you can only sit in silence. It has allowed you to see our lives and our marriage in a much worse light than it ever was. It has allowed you to turn me into some kind of a monster. It has allowed you to throw away everything that we have worked together to accomplish. It has allowed you to forget all of the good times that we have had together, all of the good memories that still dominate my heart.
If this is what you want, a life with OW----and whatever that entails, then I must, for my health and sanity, let you go. We must move forward with a formal separation agreement, and talk about divorce. This is not what I want. I will never believe that it is the right thing to do for us or for our family, but it is what needs to happen.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
