he only asked because there was an "argument" that led him to say "is that what you talked about last night" in a rather condesending arrogant tone.
Quote: Is he afraid to?
my guess would be yes he was afraid to ask, naturally he would assume that if I wanted to go alone it wouldn't be to sit and say everything is so wonderful and golly gee I don't think I've ever been so darn happy.
Quote: SHOULD he be afraid to?
no he shouldn't be afraid to. He should be able to ask, "gee hon, what did you talk with c about? any issues I can help with, are you doing ok, I'm sorry I put you through all this".
Quote: Seems to me that being asleep is a pretty good escape (one he uses all too often???)
sometimes he goes to sleep because he is just plain old tired but other times yes I do believe sleep is used to avoid!!! but it's very counterproductive and he still hasn't figured that out yet.
Quote: So did your C have any advice? Help? Words of wisdom?
c did point out that with each of the sessions we had together h seemed to ease up a bit more, be more present and less defensive, but is for some reason slow about it. also pointed out that it seems clear that h doesn't want to loose me. no real advice though as I tend to do most of the talking and conclusion drawing c is more a sounding board and I doubt that's a result of the type of c but more the type of me.
so I've been allowing myself to be dragged down a bit for some stupid reason, maybe it's the 10lbs I put on (during seperation I got so thin that people would always ask me if I was eating, I loved being that thin now I'm just a normal woman and I don't like it I liked the feeling of being able to pull anything from the closet and at worst have it be too big) being tired, h working alot (well no more than his typical summer schedule), kids at times driving me nuts, emt class stressing me out at times though I got a 100 on last nights quiz.
I guess I'm still foolishly waiting for something from h, what that is I still don't know, other than perhaps asking or heck demanding I put my rings back on.
We need to learn better how to "argue" or rather have a discussion about difficult things especially r related...it seems there are still two h's...one who listens and is compationate and anther who is arrogant and thinks I am a looney. in the end though he does know that what he did "was wrong and horrible and 'he's' sorry" and he "doesn't ever want to go through that again" "it was too painful" so I guess it's up to me to put my fears to rest and stop looking for more from him than I actually need.
