I gotta say, I'm worried for you. I know you've never seen this side of him, but it's here now. Even if it's temporary, you have to deal with the him he is today, and I'm worried he may not be the rational person you've known. That behavior really scares me for you and your kids. Please, please listen to your head over your heart right now. Often when I need clarity on something, I try simply to think of what I'd say to a friend in the exact same situation. It's crazy sometimes how different what I'd advise someone else to do is from my own situation. Even when they are similar.
Please think about it. I'm worried.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Ms b, Your H is a cop, so he definitely knows the consequences for acting like that. Glad you drew the line and sent the e-mail. If it happens again, take stronger action.
The anger, however, should be expected. His life isn't the happy little mid-life crisis he dreamed of. It never is. My W's anger amazes me right now, and how quickly it flares up. She's turned violent a couple times, but it's not like I'm worried she could hurt me, so your sitch is much different. Hang in there, and be careful.
(((Ms b)))
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
So I guess it's not just on the homefront. H has an internal affairs investigation at work for "unwarrented excessive use of force". WTH is wrong with him?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I'm on the downslope in the roller coaster today. The part where it hurts again. I don't know why. I guess because I don't see a resolution and I hate that I'm hurting my kids.
It's an emotional week for me. D4 started kindergarten yesterday.
I have no one the share my life with.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I just got an email from a couple at my church saying that they got my name from the pastor as a potential "marriage mentor". HAHAHAHA. The irony kills me. Actually it kinda hurts.
Update needed: My h interviewed in Santa Maria, and very likely has the job. He has every intention of taking it. I don't understand someone that can move away from the kids. He's going to miss out on so much, and the kids are going to pay for it as well. If he wants to leave me, fine. But leaving your kids so you can live at the coast is unacceptable in my opinion. So, now we need to prepare the house to sell, which kills me. I love my house. My kids love the house. But, I can't afford it on my own.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hi Ladybug! I've never written to you before but I was reading your thread today. (((((ladybug))))))
It sounds like your H definatly is classic case of the alien abduction. Wow I am so sorry you are going through this with him right now. You know there is a chance H might not get that Santa Maria job if he does still have that open investigation going on. I do believe that the new Dept has to contact the old one to make sure that there is no open investigations before transfering. Just a little something to think about.
I wish you the best and will be keeping up with your thread now.
I don't know if the investigation is ongoing, or just a one day formality, "we have to interview you because of this complaint..." type of thing. I know they read him his rights which is kinda scary. He didn't tell me any of the details, or what's going on. I know he had another IA investigation the following week for a complaint that he cursed at a lady. What a surprise! Bad language coming from my h?? No way. HAHAHAHA! Anyways, again, he doesn't tell me what's going on, so I don't know what if anything came from those.
Tonight we're going out to dinner with his parents and my mom for his dad's birthday (yesterday) and my mom's birthday (today). And of course the kid's are coming. I think we'll go to Red Lobster (yummy).
You know, sometimes it just takes me looking back at my past threads to see that I could be better off without him. Looking at Christmas, Easter, etc... Why do I want this man in my life? Am I just afraid of divorce (stigma, selling the house, effects on the kids), or do I really still love him? I know I love him, but I love the OLD him. This new person, I don't even know, and honestly, I don't even LIKE HIM.
Rambling...
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Why do I want this man in my life? Am I just afraid of divorce (stigma, selling the house, effects on the kids), or do I really still love him? I know I love him, but I love the OLD him. This new person, I don't even know, and honestly, I don't even LIKE HIM.
My exact sentiments about my wife. If you find an answer, let me know quick
