I actually have some updates, but I will post them later.
A quick little tidbit. She broke up with her other guy. We spent some time together Saturday night, but it was odd for a couple of reasons. Without getting into the details right now, she's acting like she wants to spend time with me, but she's also being very secretive about stuff. I can read her like a book. There's a lot more to it than that, but I'll fill you all in later.
Anyway, I'm feeling kind of numb to the whole thing. Enough that I barely spoke to her yesterday or today. She sent me a text asking if I was mad. She obviously knows that I'm not into it right now. I don't feel like I want to be involved with anything unless I lay out my expectations.
That's it for now. I'll fill in the details later.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
She had contacted me on Thursday. I did talk to her a bit through text. She told me that Aaron was coming into town that night, and would be leaving saturday morning. At that point I didn't want to ask any details so I told her that maybe I would talk to her some other time then.
Saturday morning rolls around and I get a text from her at like 8 am. Very early for her on a saturday, but I was at one of my boys football games, so I couldn't talk. I told her I would talk to her later. She sent me a text saing that she ended it with him, but it didn't go over well. I told her I would call her later.
I called her around 11am and she gave me the details. I guess he got all depressed and was crying hysterically etc. That's kind of beside the point, but she wouldn't let him leave until Saturday becuase he was such a mess. He basically freaked out like we all do, and had called her several times that morning before I talked to her.
So that was it for a while. She asked me if I had my boys that weekend, and I did, so I didn't offer to do anything, and neither did she.
Later that night, my SIL asked if my boys could spend the night with her, that was around 6:30 so they left. That left me free for the evening so I sent her a text asking what she was up to. I didn't get a reply for a long time, so I thought I would give her a call and see if she wanted to hang out for a bit. I got no answer on her home phone or her cell phone, so I left a msg. At around 11 I get a text from her saying she saw that I called. I asked what she was up to again. She told me she had gone out to dinner*. She had told me earlier that morning that she got a random text from a guy she used to date (my first original post here was due to that situation). So I knew by her response (i'll explain later) that it was with him, so I said, "Let me guess, with Steve." She told me it was, but just as friends. I told her I didn't care, she didn't have to explain herself (which she really doesn't). So I told her why I had called, because I had the night free. We talked for a bit and then she asked me to come over. I told her it was too late. She said she wanted to see me, so I told her I would come over for a while.
I got to her house around midnight and just hung out watching TV for a bit. We ML and then hung out some more. She got up and checked her phone at one point and had a text. She looked at it and laughed and then came back and sat down. I asked her what she was laughing about, and her response was, "Oh, that message I got.*" So I hung out for a little while longer and then told her I was leaving. She asked me to stay overnight, but I declined.
Midday, yesterday she sent me a text, I replied once and then didn't respond to her reply becuase it didn't warrant one. Then I did end up talking to her on the phone because she later sent a text and asked me to call her. I could hear her cell phone beep and then her texting someone again so i asked if I was interrupting and she said sorry and then said she wouldn't do that anymore.* She told me to call her later. So I did and got no answer, and no machine, so I knew she was on the phone. She sent me a text saying, "On the phone.*" I replied by saying, "I noticed..." and she asked if I was being hateful. I told her no and then asked if she was talking to Steve again or something because she assumed I was hateful. She said no that she was talking to Aaron. I told her I would just talk to her later.
Today I hadn't spoken with her until she sent a text a while ago. She asked if I was mad. I told her no and left it at that. I haven't talked to her since.
Why I'm so numb about it and not jumping into things. I got to thinking about it and she still has a "friendly" relationship with every guy she has dated besides her ex-husband...including me. I wasn't too pleased to hear that she had gone out with Steve eventhough she told me it was just as friends on both accounts. If you recall, when I first broke up with her, before this whole mess, the first thing she did was went to visit an ex that was supposedly a friend and she slept with him while she was there. So I'm not too trusting about anything. Along with that, everything I marked with a "*" is a point when she isn't being upfront with me. I can read her like a book, and I just know how she communicates. An example, if she's on the phone with her friend allison, or her parents or something, she says, "talking to my mom, I'll call you back."
So yeah, I'm not really feeling it right now, and I don't feel like getting played, or getting tied up in this confusion that she's created for herself. I'm feeling pretty much done...and not too pleased about it.
The witholding info from me is the last straw. I can read right through it and it's just like when my ex-wife was having an affair and I could see all the lies. She's not exactly lying to me, but the cowardly behavior isn't my game...
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Wow...wow...wow!! I don't know Floyd yes you definalty have a reason to be avoiding her calls now. My goodness that woman is a damn attention whore. Seriously what are the chances that the day she breaks up with Aaron magically Steve calls...hmmmm. I don't know I mean there is a possibility that this could happen but come on now!!!!
Floyd you seem like such a great guy and this woman is soooo beneath you.
Thanks Sep. I've been thinking about it and I need to GAL before I start dating again. I mean some long term GALing.
I'm not crazy at all about the way she is being secretive about things. That's not what I want it a friendship or a relationship. I'm not sure why she would think that anybody would. I doubt that she does, but I think that she thinks she's fooling me when she does it. I'm not sure how to bring it up either, because that always turns into me having trust issues from my ex-wife cheating on me. The funny thing is, I don't, if there's no reason to be untrusting. Recently is the first time I've let it be known that I wasn't feeling very trusting with her in the five years we've been together.
Oh well. I guess my next battle is explaining myself when I don't want to go out with her and let her drag me along. She has resumes out all around the country again, and is planning on moving if she finds a job. She will get mad, and ask about it...so that's going to be fun.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Well, I am glad she broke up with Aaron. But, as someone else stated, it's no coincidence that this other guy happened to call right after she broke up with someone. She may have been stringing him along, just like she strung you along, and he called her first. But it sounds like you're getting stronger in standing up to her. And that's what she needs.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
