Looks like you are handling everything well. You are doing all the right things right now including C for D. How did you hear about the fight with the OW? Remember she is 21 and basically a spoiled child so she wants to have tantrums and to prove her point (eg. not answering text msg). I do not think he is going down a dark path; the reality is that he might be realizing this is not a "true love romance". Reality sucks doesn't it.
As for myself, I am stumbling these past few days. I took a walk on the beach last night and it was Gray and windy and overcast (like my mood), I was just so angry and upset that I was crying and screaming out loud (Thank God no one was around while I was ranting like a fool), My H went to watch football (the OW's favorite team), so I had all types of images in my head all night. He got home about midnight and I was in bed. He starts to talk to me about the game and I said the OW must be happy her team won, and he said don't start that again. Then I got upset more and said why didn't you tell us 2 years ago you were not happy and move here by yourself instead of dragging us away from family 2000 miles and now you want to leave. Then I go on and say I know you are not happy, but when you leave you better be blanky blanky happy out of your mind, over the moon, with what you are doing to us. He apologized. I got up and cried for an hour (a DB failure of an evening). He did say which he has said many times that I would have let our marriage stay like this as long as I had what I wanted. It did not matter to me or him if we were happy.
In the morning he apologized again for the pain he was causing me. It keeps bothering me that he kept saying about how I didn't care about us or the marriage. I told him those were his thoughts and stop putting words for my thoughts. I told him he was taking the easy way walking out and he was a coward. Great way to start the day.
I kept thinking about this all morning, and wanted to throw a "truth dart" at him. I sent him an e-mail with the following. I know it is mostly against the DB principal but I wanted to validate my mind not his perception. Will keep you posted when/if he reacts to the e-mail. I saw a similar posting that someone wrote so i stole (borrowed) some of the verbiage. as follows...
Wanted to say that I am very sorry for calling you a coward this morning.
I knew there were problems with us and I too was not happy with the way things were going. I really felt lost when we were in CT in July and you were not there. I know you felt that as long as we were married and going along that is all that I wanted but I want you to know I NEVER felt like that, I just never knew how to fix it or was unsure on how to try.
We were two people who were raised at opposite ends of the earth, met somehow, fell in love and married. There have been times of great adventure, close companionship, creating our family, tears of joy and sadness. We have experienced so much together.
You may never want to be here for me again, but I want you to know that I have always felt safe and protected by you. This is how I really feel...
Thanks for listening today. I really am having tough time. So glad we have support on these boards.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
