The agony you are in is terrible. I hate to hear such pain, especially from someone I consider a friend and respect. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through.
It sounds like you are past the "Last Resort." Sounds like you are at a crossroad and have a decision to make. I pray for your happiness and for your children. Your decision, in a nutshell, is do you love this man enough to keep trying to get through to him, or kick him to the curb?
My father has his own biz and it has oftentimes been a source of contention in our family dynamic. For the longest time, I felt he was just a jerk/workaholic who cared more for his business than he did for his family. All evidence pointed to that. However, after his second divorce (which was mostly due to his business and his lack of involvement with his wife of 17 years) he has become a different person. He still works hard, usually 5am to 6pm m-f and 6am to 1 pm on sats, but he also has learned how to express himself more. I cannot explain why or how he did it, but it has made a remarkable difference in how he relates to the rest of the family.
Is there a chance that your husband is the same way? Maybe he just doesn't know how to communicate? And I'm not talking about the 5 languages bs, I mean perhaps he is a proud, self made man who is so insecure that he cannot even help his children understand how much he cares?
