I write this because we seem to take on the idea that it's us that our spouses "can't stand". They do act that way so we buy it, but really it's way bigger than us, we just happen to be the ones who right now stand in their way. Don't be so hard on yourself. This would have happened no matter who she was with.
THAT jumped out at me: this is way bigger than us.
Wow. Reminds me of someone telling me, hey, you don't have THAT much power. You can't be the thing that "made" the WAS lie, cheat, act like a bastard, etc. No one had the power to do that, than himself; they are his reactions, and they are reactions to the sitch and something inside of them that they can't look at.
NC, hope that you can connect with at least one guy-friend from the DC group. Sometimes one really strong friend is better than a room full of acquaintances.
