NikB #29 (keepin' up the piecing!)

[NikB]

Thanks all!!

jak
I know.. seriously.. I know how I got here, I just don't want to hear about it!
(and especially not how much you miss "it" with the woman you cheated with while married to my Mom!... so, no, things don't always work out when the WAS marries OW!)

Michelle
Thanks. And I'm so glad you can come!! I hope work continues to cooperate.

SMW
Thanks for dropping in and for letting me know you had things going on. Good things, I think. I'm with ya on the stork! Yeah, I was glad for how H responded to my Dad's stuff too. I'm sure he's got more going on in his head about it than he's telling/showing me, but that's OK... he didn't freak out and he didn't just totally shut down either.

BH
Thank you for stopping in. I need to catch up with you too! You're on a forum I don't visit as much now, but I'll look for ya later today.

It's been interesting trying to help my Dad through all this for the reason mentioned above.. he was the WAS when he left my Mom, and in fact cheated with his current STBXW. He denies it but I know for a fact that he's lying. Not that I've talked to him about it at all in a very long time, but it's just another little "twist" in the whole mess. I told him early on that I was glad she had the strength of character to leave without cheating on him (and told him how rare that is, after seeing so many sitches on here). Later realized that might not have been the best thing to say given how he left my Mom! Oh well. He's been feeling extremely guilty and wrote my Mom an 8 page apology letter.

I know what you mean, the thought of ever suffering through this again is pretty frightening! Even though we're doing well now, I think about it almost daily. I guess maybe that's good in that it keeps me more on my toes though.

ST
I owe ya an email too - soon! I only have about 20 min. and wanted to check in here before email.

Yeah.. the "unthinkable".. yikes. He's actually attempted it twice that I know of and threatened it (the "cry for help" type of threat where he didn't actually intend to follow through) another two times over the past 30 or so years. It's pretty scary. Thanks for the kind words. Yes, he'll have to learn it for himself... I'm glad that at least he is FINALLY doing some of that.

You are now officially invited!! Although I realize that it's wayyyy too far away. I promise we'll throw one if you ever come to Cali!

As to how we have that many people... well, the house itself isn't that big but the open "entertaining" type area is pretty big (as opposed to the tiny bedrooms). We also have a pretty large patio and backyard. So, as long as we get some outdoor heaters going, we have quite a bit of room.

The first time we threw a big party I thought H was absolutely crazy inviting so many people. We ended up with nearly 100 for our New Year's / Mardi Gras theme party! THAT was a little much. I was in the house and it was totally packed so I went outside to get some air... and it was packed, too! The more complicated part is feeding that many people. I don't want to get stuck cooking all night so I've become pretty good at finding creative wys to keep stuff on ice (last "summer" party I set up a kiddie pool with ice water in it), or finding foods that can either sit in a crockpot with an occasional stir, or sit out at room temp for a long time.

Should be fun!!

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No major updates... things are going well with H, and my "pup" continues to do well. She finally stopped trying to itch so much which is great!

Oh! One cool update. For my birthday.. H kept trying to think of ideas for this weekend but kept feeling like he wasn't really coming up with something "great" for me. He was thinking about going out on his dad's boat, but knew his Dad wouldn't let us take it just on our own so didn't really like that idea.. thought about Tahoe but thought it's something we do all the time... Monterey, but the drive's too far when we have to be back for dinner at MIL's on Sunday. So he finally asked me if I had any ideas. I couldn't think of anything and then it hit me when I looked at my pics from last Fall (which I still have on the fridge) - Sonoma!!

I hesitated at first but then thought what a good way it would be to "reconnect" in a way. For those new to my sitch.. when I got the last "bomb" last October (the second "we should separate") I took off for almost a week. I planned to start in Sonoma then drive to the coast, but fell in love with Sonoma and stayed there. Had a wonderful time, saw lots of sites met lots of people... it was so much fun and exactly what I needed. Since then, Sonoma's kinda been "my" place to go when I need a break.

So.. at first I thought it would be weird for "us" to go there but then I thought about it differently. In a new R, what things do you do early on to connect? Well, the first one that came to mind is sharing favorite sites and activities! So, that made me feel really good about this idea. I suggested Sonoma and H said "What's in Sonoma?" so I told him a bit and he was excited to go site seeing, wine tasting, etc. So I'm really excited. It'll be fun!!

Unfortunately there is some sort of art festival this weekend that has ALL the hotels totally booked up. I did find one room at a motel that's normally around $120... it was $300!!! H said "That's OK it's your birthday after all!" but I just think that's WAY too much to spend (and he seemed kinda relieved that I emphasized it was too much). We could stay about 20 min. away.. but really it's only an hour and half drive, so I think we'll just go for the day. H said "Well guess that means we're getting up early! I'll treat ya to [my favorite coffee drink] at Starbucks on the way out of town.. with the convertible top down, of course!" Very sweet.

Hope everyone's having a good week! My 20 minutes is up and has turned into 30 minutes .. so gotta run for now but I'll be on later.