Honestly it sounds like this is a very good time for you in many ways. Maybe the adversity has brought the chance for you to be closer to your H again, and for him to see how much he wants to be with you. I am not sure about the background to your situation, but do you think it's possible that he is thriving on the chance to get to be the strong one in the relationship, to get to protect you? It seems like most of us with WAHs were in situations where we sort of controlled everything, and they felt like they were being taken along for the ride. If you turn that around, maybe that offers a ray of hope. I know that the time I thought my H and I got along best was when I was diagnosed with a condition, and he spent the summer sort of trying to take care of me. Though I was very sick and scared, I still see that as our best 3 months together.
I also think it's really impressive that your H apologized to your father, amazing.
Lola I'm thinking good thoughts for you. You really deserve them. Stay positive!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
It is possible. I always prided myself on being strong, independent. My H did say I was controlling. I am not sure. I do know that even this morning, I am so tired that I wonder if I will ever not feel tired again. The thing is, when I asked God to use me as a vessel...well just be careful what you ask for!!!! I am not sure where this is headed, but somehow I do know that this was all supposed to happen. It is a strange feeling, in the midst of this turmoil, I still feel calm.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Lola, I am so glad that you are feeling the calm. Even in these crazy times as bad as you thought it was there is some resolve. You are able to borrow yr friends car so you can get to and from work, the sitch has brought you and H closer....everything has its ways of working out.
Wow Lola what a ride! Most people would have given up on all fronts by now, you are a strong woman. I admire your fortitude. Here's to you getting a little relief. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks. As of today, I have actually talked to H twice. LOL, inconsequential stuff, but it is always a nice way to start the day...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Lola, How are you comparmentalising all this at work? I have a hard time being on at work when I'm down inside. Any suggestions?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Honestly, I am so busy at work most of the time it doesn't effect me. But, keep in mind I have been doing this almost a year.
When it first happened, I was at a different job, small law office. They all knew what was going on, so it wasn't uncommon for me to start just crying at my desk. Every day at 3:30 I would go out to my car to cry for about fifteen minutes, and they all understood, so it was okay.
Now, if I need to cry, and yes I do still sometimes, I go in the bathroom. I cry, wash my face, and blame allergy season...
Suggestion: don't try to stifle it. Take a moment, two, ten if you need to catch your breath. If you don't grieve, you can't heal.
Last edited by LolaL; 09/16/0803:19 PM.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Lola, I am so glad that you are feeling the calm. Even in these crazy times as bad as you thought it was there is some resolve. You are able to borrow yr friends car so you can get to and from work, the sitch has brought you and H closer....everything has its ways of working out.