I bit my tongue throughout H's mean multi-day episode of blaming me for his tuition woes even though I was getting pretty upset. I fully expected not to hear from him for a couple of days. I get back to my desk and have some IM waiting where he says that he is sorry if he was mean yesterday, that he blames himself as much as he blames me. Another guilt-ridden moment, but I do really appreciate the effort and the fact that he thinks of my feelings. Of course I said not to worry, that he wasn't mean, and it was fine, and that maybe my budget wasn't as good as it could have been, with a smiley face.
We had some more conversation about OUR finances, and then he asked if I would order groceries online for him since I offered to use my card if he was in a bind. I just was going to send him my card number but now he's asked me to do it...I do think it's interesting that someone who wants to stand on his own so much actually ASKS me to do so many things.
He's said he will cut out yoga and painting on his side and that he needs to focus on his studies. Could this mean he's coming back to the land of the living, the place where there is more to do than read self-help books and obsess about the meaning of life? (sorry if this sounds mean--I'm glad he cares for himself) He still has no clue about when I come back...he is talking about October and all, probably having no idea I will be back mid-way through. Well I will certainly not be opening THAT can of worms! My hope is that he will be SO wrapped up in his studies that he will actually welcome me being there if for nothing else than to help with the household stuff until that point where he is once again enchanted by me of course :).
OK end of post. I am proud of my continued DBing skills, and am happy to see that biting my tongue actually paid off in this case.
Does anyone have tips on how to alleviate a WAH's guilt? THIS is my current concern and goal. He is afraid to be around me, and I know part of it is guilt. It's really hard via IM only to make myself a safe, non-judgmental place to be...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!