Quote: poopypod is that the best you could come up with
Quote: I belive that I am quality time and physical touch/words of affirmation. What do you think he would think of the LOVE TANK concept
Quote: does he respond to your e-mails? No, tony gone caveman on us, he must be taking it very badly. Maybe he took out OM with a ground to air, and is in hiding
Quote: What do you think he would think of the LOVE TANK concept
h understands the love tank concept very well. He may not be inclined to read the book or listen to the tapes but he does listen to me when I explain it to him, he listens so much that he is well aware of the fact that he is an "acts of service" man and also knows what I am too.
things seem to still be going very well, the shift has not shifted back and I'm thankful for that I wonder sometimes if the neg vibe was simply more of me letting my own thoughts and insecurities push him away? only then leaving me to wonder why he's withdrawn.
so yesterday was a great day, relaxing and fun. bil and his wife came to visit, had a water fight with them and son while h cooked steaks (I think he enjoyed watching us have fun though and I especially think he enjoyed the fact that bil soaked me and I had a light colored tank top on ).
I had asked h fri what the distance from one of our house spigets to the hanging plants was...that I had seen a coil hose with a stick sprayer but didn't buy it because I didn't know if it would be long enough...yesterday when h and son went to the hardware store to get trash bags and ice upon arival home son called me out to the deck with a special delivery! guess what it was...the hose and stick sprayer!
I've given up on waiting for my father to decide whether or not I can use his vacation place for the weekend we'd liek to go away (for petes sake it's not like I asked him not to be there I just don't want his skank there) and booked a little one room cabin in nh instead.
h is excited about it (I do wonder why he doesn't want to stay at his families townhouse up there but I suppose I know why, this way it's more of OUR vacation) I am pretty excited about it too.
I'm not happy that this all happend (the sit, ow and all) but I am happy with the end result and know that if I feel this good about it now (there are still some fears and insecurities) I can only imagine how good it will be in a few years. suppose it's just as I said to h during the bad times....you can look back 5 years from now and say what did I do...or you can look back and say I can't beilive what I almost did.
I'm glad he took the "risk" and came home! I think he's pretty glad too!
Praying and hoping that my H will take the risk too. And I do think they see it as a risk. They know what they think they have with OW. I am sure H thinks that I would never forgive him (although I told him I would and if he would promise to never do it again, I think I would be okay.)and he would be fighting and arguing with an insecure B*ch all the time. What he doesn't know is how my love has grown for him to be truly unconditional.
Keep up the PMA! You sound great. Did you ever read After the Affair? It is a great book.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Just took your test...tapping the exact same dimensions as the one I just listed on my thread.
HOWEVER...my version is longer, and happened to yeild the same type (ENTP) as I've been since I first took the original version of the test at 18!!! and every testing since.
I came up ENFJ on your version. Although my T/F has been shifting, I've never come up J before! (It was only 11%)
Sometimes I think - too much! I tend to get into the analytical mode, psycho and otherwise and keep digging and digging until I can't even see the top of the hole anymore. I've studied theories, analyzed my motives, tried to figure out what W is really trying to do to me and to herself. After awhile, I come to the conclusion that it just isn't worth all this self-flagellation.
The same goes for you too Lady. You are blessed with a keen insight into your psyche and how things are supposed to work. The problem comes when we try to find an absolute answer for every problem. Sometimes, there are no clear answers, no reasons that make sense - to us at least. That frustrates us to no end.
The great thing about being human though, is that we are NOT tied to total logic and reason. We have the ability to make leaps with our mind that make no sense to anyone but ourselves. We can make those leaps confident in ourselves and in our faith that everything will come out OK in the end. That is what makes us special.
Quote: I wonder sometimes if the neg vibe was simply more of me letting my own thoughts and insecurities push him away? only then leaving me to wonder why he's withdrawn. I agree, when XW would go neg on me I would get scarce, not knowing about Mars/Venus
Quote: soaked me and I had a light colored tank top on ). Got any pictures. I sure tonyP would enjoy them
Quote: I'm glad he took the "risk" and came home! I think he's pretty glad too! Wow, you sound so great, is this the same person as 2 weeks ago, I happy for you, and I do appreciate your sage advice.
Poe
PS:I don't think Tony has hit rock bottom yet, but he is close, he is not replying to any of my emails.
I know what is missing for me is passion, excitement or heck just plain old physical contact.
I get very frustrated (and not simply sexual frustration) when I make a subtle attempt to intiate and am told "sleep momma" or "I'm tired".
last week I initiated on fri night and sat night and both were accepted, sun nights attempt was met with "I just want to sleep...tommorrow night" wich led to nothing at all till the following sun afternoon when he was suddenly interested.
I get really tired of this. it has been an issue for the better part of our r not just our marriage and not just a result of the sit or the entrance of ow into the pic (h had started to withdraw sexually long before she moved to town)
very very frustrating...
why is it only when he wants to or is in the mood.
I can find no correlation to anything...it is not what I wear or say or do...time of day or day of week...it is simply random and it's very annoying!!!!!! almost makes me not enjoy it when it does happen becuase I don't know where it is comming from and when it will happen again. arg!!!
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