I have some advice for you but first I'll tell you that I am sort of similar to your wife. But I am not depressed, suicidal, etc. or a princess......
But I'm very LD and I don't know why either. My H told me a few times and I didn't do much about it. I thought it would pass. It took him leaving me and having an EA to get through to me. Now I'm seeing a psychologist, investigating possible biological reasons, and working on myself.
My H is also very affectionate and loving. I can't say I have ever really felt unloved but I can also say that I haven't always felt the need to have a lot of love. (Don't know why???)
I will tell you that my H stifled his needs and stayed with me but ended up having an EA (could be PA too but he didn't admit to it) because he became so unhappy. I'm not making excuses for his actions, they were wrong. Obviously he wasn't man enough to deal with our problems. Don't let that happen to you. Insist your W go to counseling to deal with her problems/depression.
I was kind of upset at the first few responses to you - telling you to get out now, cut and run. I felt like if my H got on here, those same people would tell him the same things. (We've only been married 2 years) If he listened to them, then it'd be over for us. Ironically some of those same people are telling me to not reach out to him right now.......
Bottom line is, if you want to work on your marriage, go for it. You just need to get your W to join in and if that takes a separation, then do that. I know it may seem impossible but it might be what it takes to get through to her to make her want to get help. Talking didn't work for me and it doesn't seem to be working for her...
Good luck!
M:36 H:36 M 3 Y T 8 Y No kids Bomb 6/30/08 PA I filed 9/29/09 D final 1/22/2010
