Why do you need to see a path? The unpackaged experience. Let it happen! Sure, you can go on the trips and stuff will look just like it does in the brochures but none of the people will be smiling the same way.
I am addicted to goal setting... So do you think that I should just make it a goal to keep putting myself out there knowing that I am feeling emotionally unavailable, and hope there is someone out there that will trigger emotional availability? That is a path I can see maybe... Sorry - I need to see at least a hint of a path in the fog... It is just who I am...
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Unless you've suppressed your emotional life to build your professional life
I don't think I did that... However, since my D, I have been using my professional life to avoid having to face the lack of an emotional life.
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It's funny, because I used to be in the midwest and that was such a big deal, but out here in NorCal it isn't.
You are so right. It is a bigger deal in the midwest that CA. Humongo Client is from CA. Although I have done some silly things to hide my gender as I established my firm...
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I got angry and replied that I was sad to see the assumption of affiliation was focused on the man. In fact, the wife had joined our faculty and we were very pleased to have her. What happened next? Poison pen emails in return! That I was insinuating something and I should stick to the facts! Hmmm, I thought I was.
Thanks for doing what you did. It is men like yourself that have helped me get where I am in my career. I think over time I myself have become somewhat cynical and just let those battles go...perhaps sold a bit of my soul to buy peace of mind... It is funny isn't it how men get the bad rap for making these assumptions - but women do it too.
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I don't know much about Indian culture other than my friend - are you Indian?
Yes - I am. I was born and mostly raised here. I spent a couple of years of my childhood in Chennai and New Delhi. I was married to a German from Hamburg. So I am culturally confused too.
Thank you again for posting. I also have this tendency to disgree when I first hear something and then after a few days change my mind... So I appreciate your posting your thoughts. They will percolate in my brain
Ah, the copper core. I just have the all-clad. But I used a friend's copper set to make zabaglione - very nice! Glad the class was good. I meant to ask you about it. I've been thinking about taking some as well - through Williams-Sonoma, right?
Yes, it is all-clad copper core. And yes - it is through William-Sonoma. All of them are offering the same classes - so there is probably one in your area that is teaching these same classes.
You used copper-core to make zabaglione! You really have to watch the heat! Did you use a double boiler? The William Sonoma person demonstrated using the stainless steel all-clad and kept telling me my pans would react differently. So I am going to have to experiment on my own.
The very first time I used the fry pan - I tried hot pan cold oil (used the temperature I used with my old pans), hit the olive oil flashpoint and created an instant mess!
And yet, it takes longer to boil water...
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Condi? Ugg. I'm afraid she's heading back here soon, along with Rummy.
I would love to elaborate on this - but have to behave. Two other posters and I got censored for having political discussions a couple of years ago.
Think "friendship" first and then take it one step at a time. :-))
Sigh... I am going to keep putting myself out there. And I will be friends with a single man that I find attractive- as in non-male girlfriend material - and not run away and hide - even if it kills me!
And I will not use the word "male girlfriend" and re-label it into my comfort zone. I will not use to that word to push him away...
Okay - I am ready. Is there a place where I can order someone that is legally single, at least 6 foot tall, does not have a gut and makes me laugh. Those are the bare minimums! I am very attached t +/- 3 years - but will give a little if there are other compensating attributes!
You know I drove past Young Trader Joe Man a couple of weeks ago and waved to him. He has not spoken to me since! LOL! I think he was hot for a 30-something young lady that worked for minimum wage at TJ's and drove an '88 Honda Civic! Guess reality clashed with illusion (one that I perpetuated...I suppose...).
How is little Jayce doing? Do you and Ellie have any fun plans coming up?
Well there are two men that are single and interesting and fit the minimum 6 foot requirement and make me laugh....and if I bend an R (avoidance) rule - which I can relax if I think of them as friends instead of potential R's - that I can develop friendships with...
There is the Frenchman (deep breathe - just b/c I develop a friendship does not mean I am commited to being in an R!!!)... He is interesting and makes me laugh. And somewhat "safe" b/c he lives in CA. And well I did find him attractive at one time when I was at The Resort over a year ago... He is the last man that I kissed.
And there is this really nice guy from this trip. He is not legally D - but we are talking friendship here. He lives in Connecticut - so he is somewhat "safe." He has been very decent to his stbxw - did not speak of her with anger - seemed to have sense of peace. He gave me a kiss on the cheek on night and was not pushy. I have his card. No real chemistry - but I suppose it is possible to develop - he is just a really sweet guy.
Okay - in my brain we are going to stick to the word FRIENDSHIP and nix the word MALE GIRLFRIEND - hereinafter that is reserved for men that are in R's. That is a step for me!
I left a VM for a woman I went to high school with. I went to HS in New Jersey. She is a doctor now. It is our 25th high school reunion. She called back and left a message yesterday and mentioned the reunion. I only went to that HS for 2 years - it would be fun seeing her again. We use to be good friends and then lost touch after we went away to college. That is in early November. The October seminar is probably on the chopping block... Catching up with old friends from my past is certainly taking me around the country!
Okay back to typing tedious invoices... Just paid my quarterly taxes. So unless I plan on moving to Montana and joining those militia people that don't pay taxes - I am going to have to do the paperwork to get paid.
Life is a little less angst-ridden than last night with respect to The Block. Humongo Client angst levels are very high - but being contained - it is taking a lot of energy to maintain my equilibrium in The Turbulence. That being said - I know what I need to do - it is just tough doing it...
All in all life is good! Just the normal ups and downs of a normally abnormal personality!
This post will be greek to those that don't really know me...
I knew it! I knew it! I knew something was up at Humongo Client!!!! My gut was screaming!!! The cuts screamed desperation....I just posted it last night.... And today - my gut was beyond screaming all day...
And now I have the confirmation! Still don't know exactly where the chips will fall. My gut feeling is that my management work will be pulled in-house - no biggie since I have killed the golden goose so to speak under directions to do so - and made some good money killing the goose - it isn't laying too many eggs. This work use to generate 50% of my income but is less than 5% of my income now... It is okay - I was prepared and want the downtime. I need a break.
I also think my boss will be let go... He is in his 60's... I also think my boss' boss is being set up to be fired... I hate it when this type of stuff happens. I am outside counsel but I work so closely with my client that we are part of a team...
I have been through this before with other clients. It is always hard for me - but well such is life in corporate America...
I had this same feeling when I was working at the last law firm. I knew I was being set up to be fired months before it happened - it was political - and I prepared for it and leveraged it to my advantage. Today when I visit my old firm - those that set up the firing hide.
It isn't the not what is said that is relevant - it is what is not said... I just sensed it.... The cost cuts were reactive....appeared desperate... was nickel and diming stuff unbecoming a corporation of their stature. The cost cutting was being micromanaged by the very top management - just is not normal...
Oh well - at least The Event has happened. It will still take time for the fallout... I need to remain calm... While the current work may be pulled - I was a team player and took the lead on the cost cutting in my area - it is possible that I have been noticed and things may play out in my favor... And if not - it is okay - I am prepared with to move with contacts at Humongo Clients II, III, and IV.
I know this is all over the place... I am sad to see this happening at Humongo Client - they use to be a leader and still are - but on their way down - that is always tough to watch... I did/do take pride in their status in industry... They were my very first real client...
Well, as someone who consulted for 15 years, humongo clients come and go. It is nice to have that steady paycheck when you're a consultant, but ultimately (in my experience) it's political. And you aren't in the administration. Be happy for what you got but be looking for the next humongo client. Consulting is like a relationship AND an affair rolled up into one.
Sorry you'll be faced with that bit of uncertainty as things change - always difficult and apprehension-provoking.
I read a National Geographic article on elephants what they looked for the most was sex, sustenance, and security
Real lasting security is more unpredictable and I believe we are not made to be too comfortable here or we become lazy and useless and are at more risk for a fall than if we have a certain amount of stress to motivate us.
You will do well
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Jayce is doing really well. Hasn't "woofed" in almost ten days.
The only trip we have planned right now is the August 10th long weekend here in Canada (Thanksgiving). We're going to Ellie's family cottage for 5 days. It's always fun to see her many cousins. I'm still undecided about a trip to Germany in November. I'd like to go but I'd also like to go and visit my boys out in British Columbia. Air fares are pretty steep right now !
Don't worry about work. You'll do fine. cheers ...Soup
Consulting is like a relationship AND an affair rolled up into one.
So very true... and sometimes you have a harem of clients - so that is parallel relationships and affairs...
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Sorry you'll be faced with that bit of uncertainty as things change - always difficult and apprehension-provoking.
I have been detaching and trying to keep from reacting for over a month. However right now I am feeling a little tired and overwhelmed and paralyzed... Hope it passes soon...
It is men like yourself that have helped me get where I am in my career. I think over time I myself have become somewhat cynical and just let those battles go...perhaps sold a bit of my soul to buy peace of mind... It is funny isn't it how men get the bad rap for making these assumptions - but women do it too.
Two other posters and I got censored for having political discussions a couple of years ago. 