A couple of observations, then I'll let up. You very quickly evaded the comment about talking to a C and turned back to H and what he needs to do. What I'm talking about is what LL needs to do, whether H does anything or not. You feel that H is not meeting the expectations you have for him. LL - Who in this world can you ultimately control and set expectations for? (and the kids don't count - that's a whole other realm) If you have goals for this R, and I'm sure you do; does H know about them? Does he agree to them? Has it all been laid out that this is the direction you need to go? You keep expecting H to ask you to put the rings back on, he may be just waiting for you to put them back on - unspoken issues will never be resolved until they are talked about. They becme subject to ASSUMPTION. And I'm sure you know what happens when one or both of you ASS-U-ME.
Every time you think about OW, you're taking another step deeper into that cheeseless tunnel. Do you forgive and move forward or not? Only you can decide that. Do you love - unconditionally - or not? That is your choice and no one else's. If you have decided to forgive, then DO IT. It doesn't mean you forget it forever, but it is something you choose to not obsess on anymore.
You may be holding expectations for H that he cannot meet, or is unaware of the depth of your feelings about them. Try a little reflection, look at LL from H's POV. What is the message you are sending? Clingy, needy, insecure?? Try to understand that H may not have the skills he needs to give you what you need and he is just doing the best that he can with what he has to work with.
I know it's hard to trust. I don't know that I will ever trust W again (ever is a long time btw). But you have something here that I don't think I have - another chance to trust again. But it's up to you to decide to trust. H can't make you trust him, no matter how many cell phones he chucks out the window. It's something that you have to give of yourself on your own. A C may help you get there, if you want to.
