Another one bites the dust

[No Longer BH]

It pisses him off, that all or nothing thing. But it is how I feel. I have enough friends. Maybe that dooms any reconciliation in the future...

I am a point that I really dont care how he feels. He threw away our M, me and my son. Why would it bother me if it upset him that I did not see that as a friendly gesture. He does not deserve my friendship...my kindness, yes, friendship no. Guess its part of that detaching thing, not really caring. Also, I truly believe that too many times these men dont see the consiquences that their actions cause. If being his friend did not get you to R, why continue to do it? I admire those who can do it long term, but I dont have that luxury. Staying in limbo was draining me. Sure, he was acting so much kinder to me but he was also having sex with his OW. I am a all or nothing person as well. He can see how well I am doing, how happy I am. If he wants to be a part of it, then HE can do the work to come back into the fold. I paved a very nice road for him up until this point and he still chose not to take it. He can see what it would be like to come back, but he is still chosing her. I now am letting go and chosing to create my own life. I guess that is what happens when you drop the rope, you dont care if their feelings are hurt. I just keep reminding myself that he did not care if my feelings were hurt when he sleeps with OW.