______________________________________________________ funny thing is that when ow first called me (she was calling to let me know they were just friends) she let me know how much my h loves me and what a great mother he says I am and yada yada yada. this 4th of july h told one of my friends that he adores me, last ocotber when h first started to come around he told another friend that I'm awesome...but these words of affirmation don't come my way? why don't they come my way? why after all this should I just know? ___________________________________________________________
LL, this sounds like a very familiar problem. Our MC recently has really emphasized the need to learn to say these kind of things directly to each other. Just like your H, we tend to say all of these things to other people, but not so much to each other.
We have been trying to do better, but both find it hard to verbalize affection and compliments. Words feel inadequate and clumsy. It makes us feel ackward and vulnerable.
The best that we have been able to figure out as to the WHY of this behavior is that neither of us grew up with verbal affection or affirmations. Mostly, in our families, critical comments were abundant and often emotional abuse.
I don't know if this relates at all to your H, but it is at least one explination for why he may behave that way.
