Cinders, SallyM's (last posted her thread in Surviving, but is now piecing! Yay) husband moved in with OW fairly quickly after leaving her. Her H came back, and they are working things out. Now she is learning many things about his R with OW. And yes, sometimes it IS sunshine and roses, but most of it isn't. AND..snodderly is sooo right, the moving in thing? Well, that's just a big ol' permanent reminder that life is really about bills/jobs/stress/no sleep.
Hi Cinders, I hope you are fine today. Yes, I have also lost H like so many others here, although he claims not to be with OW anymore.
Regarding moving in is sometimes the beginning of the end. I remember when I moved in with H and it was very difficult to start with. But we were both young and in love and happy. And my H wasn't moody and angry as he is now, nor did either of us have an "old" R or kids. So it was much easier to overcome the problems.
My H lived with OW for about 2 years, but during this time their R already started to deteriorate. When I told him recently that he will never have a R like we had with anybody else he said "probably not".
You are a strong lady and you have done alright so for. I am sure you will be fine in the future as well, although it will hurt a lot. I know the sitch must be harder if you have kids, but I admire you for being such a super mum. (((HUGS)))
I know H and ow moving in together might be the beginning of the end for them, but the thing is....it may NOT. I don't want to focus on either of those....as none of them bring H back.
Today I had a LOVELY day.
Took the kids to school, took Pluto to the vet, had coffee with a good friend, then back to the vet and to the market to get fresh fish. Then, since it was such a lovely and sunny day, Pluto and I walked to school at midday to pick up the kids (10 minute walk) kids, Pluto and I walked back home in the sunshine, it was blissful ! Took kids back to school by car in the afternoon, my parents came over, did some chores around the house with my dad's help, picked the kids up from school at 3.30, even took a friend's kids home for a while, then to swimming lessons and back home to cook dinner, parents stayed over for dinner and it was all just so lovely !
Helped the kids with homework, read a book for them and put them to bed...now I sit here and feel happy about my day. Thank you God for giving me such blissful days.
H? Well, he missed out on it all. Like he will so much more in the future.
Me? Happy that I get to wave at the kids during swimming lessons, happy to get kisses thrown at me from the kids, happy to have Pluto follow me around in adoration all day..happy to have great friends and wonderful parents. Life on my side is truly the best side.
Love to you all xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders: Thinking of you. Glad you, the kids and Pluto are giving and receiving so much love.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi Sweety, I am glad for you that you had a lovely day and that you are happy. It must be nice to have found such a nice dog that fits in well with your family. You are so blessed with your kids, but with a mother like you the kids are bound to be lovely as well. Take care. (((HUGS))) xxx
Pluto will bring such joy and activity to your family. There will be rewards every day.
My H left me and S12 37 months ago on 8/16/05.
I had wanted to get a dog for our son when he turned 5. My H would not hear of it. Always said a dog is too dependent. Didn't want to be tied down with another dog. We had one when we married and he died when our son was 19 months old. That dog lived to be 15 1/2 years. We loved him very much. That might have had something to do with his decision.
WELL, On 9/25/05...My son was 9, I went and got a dog!!!!!
H had been gone about 5 weeks!!!!
Our dog is a Golden Retriever named Tucker. I have not had one day of regret bringing Tucker into our lives. Tucker is now 3 yrs old, he is lovely, we taught him lots of tricks and manners. Tucker has brought such fun and joy to son's life. My son will say "Mom don't you just love Tucker" AND, yes I do!!!! He has become a "buddy" to us both, I would not trade the days we have had with him for anything.
If my H ever comes back, Tucker stays!!!!!
Pluto will do the same for all of you....It is a wonderful thing you have done. Dogs have a way of healing and comforting hurt souls.
Bless you all....Cinders, your children and Pluto too!!!
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
I know H and ow moving in together might be the beginning of the end for them, but the thing is....it may NOT. I don't want to focus on either of those....as none of them bring H back.
Cinders, it pleases me to hear you say this. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. It is always important to live the life you have and become the person you want to be regardless of who is or is not in your life. And you are becoming that person every single day of your life. Of course, you will have good days and bad days. You will also find what you think you want today will not always be the thing you want tomorrow. You will try things. You will make choices. Some will change. Some will stay the same. Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow. And there is only one person who has to know that and you are that person.
