When will your D be 16? Is she mature for her age? She should be able to decide for herself.If he is going to treat her that way she should be able to say that she doesn't wish to come over if he can't treat her with respect.
You can talk to her about boundries and how to set them.This is a skill she will need when she is older.She may as well learn to set them with her father.It doesn't seem like he has any himself.
If she lets him get away with it then she could be setting herself up for a pattern of letting men treat her that way.
And we don't want that.Our daughters need to know they get to set the rules for how they are treated.
Later Friends Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
Bridget, she will be 16 next August. Yes, she is pretty mature for her age. She does not believe in taking cr@p from anyone, not even her dad. They used to be close....his actions have changed that.
I will definitely talk w/ her about setting boundaries....Thanks for the advice! I surely do NOT want my D15 one day marrying a man like her dad!
YES, they do need to know how to set rules/boundaries for how they are treated. She is usually pretty good about this when it comes to her boyfriends.
Thank Goodness for Bill...she couldn't get in touch w/ me at first, so she called Bill. He was kind and loving to her and was able to talk to her. He told her the same thing I did....to stay in her room or away from her dad until it was time for him to bring them home. He (Bill) is a VERY loving bonus-father and my kids love him very much! She was very appreciative of the fact that he took the time to talk w/ her. I so hope through OUR marriage that our children are able to see what a marriage/true love should be like.
I believe it was my first lawyer that told me that once the kids reach a certain age, they can decide if they want to go to their dad's or not. My daughter definitely does not want to go back...right now, at least. In fact, she gets out of going every chance she can. My S11 still wants to go. He does not get the same treatment that D15 gets (or his step-sisters). My D15 was telling me last night that my exH got upset w/ the SS14 not long ago and not only did he fuss at her, he almost hit her. He will be right back in court if he ever lays a hand on any of my children! His w needs to grow a backbone and stand up to him....that is what I had to learn to do.
I just keep trying to reassure the children. And, I keep telling myself that he will one day reap what he sows. One day he WILL have to answer for his actions...maybe not to me or to the children, but to a much higher being.
Thanks for the birthday wishes, Lissie! I had a GREAT day...the only thing that would have made it better would have been having Bill and the kids w/ me. Bill did call me first thing Saturday morning....he was the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday...:)
It just breaks my heart.