Husband's Missed Oppotunity #2

[blindsided1]

Well, the weekend was okay. I didn't really do much. Saturday I spent time with my MIL. That was nice. We had lunch and did some shopping. Then I hung out with family Sat night. Sun I met H to give him our d. It was fine. I was fine. No crying. I was in a pretty good mood because I was going to go to a friend's to watch football. We were talking about nothing in particular. I noticed he was all grumpy. I asked if he was okay and he said that his back was starting to hurt and he doesn't "have time for this sh!t". I said, "what are you talking about I haven't given you any sh!t about anything". Then it was "I gotta go" So, I said I just want to say goodbye to my d. He was all rude and said "well hurry up. I gotta go" I kissed her goodbye and said "see ya". About 5 minutes later, H calls and says "he forgot what he called for" - weird.

After football, I go to pick up d. He starts in on me about how I'm always putting things off (re our divorce and separating our phone accts, etc.) I said that I wasn't putting things off anymore. I know this is what he wants and I can't do anything about it. I said that all I want is for us to have a good relationship for our daughter and not fight. I said that I understand that I am going to have to put most of the effort into that. But, it was important to me. Then he started in on me about the outstanding bills and how he feels that he has overpaid. So, I told him that I would give him a copy of all the statements and the leger showing what he has paid and what it has gone towards. That he HAS NOT overpaid, in fact he has not paid anything including CS in the last 2 months. I told him that I was being more than fair considering. I said that I am having a difficult time, but managing things without his help, just fine. All I want is to be able to provide for our daughter and he needs to help with that. He asked me "what would you do if I got in a car accident tomorrow and died?" I said that I would be horribly devastated if he died tomorrow and I would grieve. But, I would be able to take care of K. I have lots of help I can ask for if I need to". I said, "what would YOU do if I died?" He said I could take care of her fine. I only have 3 bills - my truck, my quad and my golf clubs." I said what about gas, insurance, food, utilities, rent, etc. He said that he could get a little studio apartment or a two bedroom and take care of the rest.

Okay, don't you think that is a little weird that he said he could get a studio apt? Why would he need to do that if he is planning on marrying OW? It just struck me as odd. I think I'm reading into it. STOP. There the stop sign went up. I ended the conversation by saying, "H, I will always consider you my family. I will always be your friend, even if you don't want to be mine. That's just who I am." I got in my car and left.

Today he calls me to tell me that we have mediation scheduled for Oct 31st and he'll pick me up and we can go together. I was calm on the phone - no tears, no being upset. But, it DID upset me. 6 weeks and my M will be just about over. I texted him that I know he didn't mean to upset me. But, could he please discuss D issue outside of work. It's a painful and sad subject for me and it makes it hard to concentrate. I'm not angry at you. I just would prefer if you didn't call me at work to discuss that. You know that this is hard for me.

He said ok.

This IS hard for me. I miss my H, a lot. Why is this so easy for him?

Sorry, it blew my PMA